


25 Days of Adoration

by futurefishes



Series: 25 days of us [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Alternate Universe - Police, Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mind Bonds, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prompt Fill, or my bad attempt at it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-02 16:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 26,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futurefishes/pseuds/futurefishes
Summary: Jeonghan and Jihoon will always find each other; no matter how many lifetimes they will go through, their paths will cross and their fate intertwine.[One new drabble each day until Christmas, part two.]





	1. a ride to remember

**Author's Note:**

> an entire year has passed since i posted 25 days of love! it's insane. it was an idea that just came to me one day and that i decided to follow, and look where it got me. i've gotten a lot of love for 25 days of love, and i've also met a lot of amazing people. 
> 
> so let's celebrate the joyful season with another 25 days, shall we?
> 
> each day until christmas, i'll post a jeonghoon drabble. the difference from last year though is that this year, i'm doing an au!theme - in other words, 25 whole days of Jeonghoon aus!! i'm so excited i could scream ahahaa
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy and that you'll stay with me until the 25th! Thank you for checking in!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt; “You’re the shy new kid and I thought I’d be nice and offer you a ride home, but it gets awkward quickly since you don’t talk much, then all of a sudden you inform me that we’ve been driving in the wrong direction for half an hour because you’ve been trying to gather the courage to ask me out” AU

When Jeonghan had offered to drive his classmate from law class home, he didn't expect it to be so _awkward_.

Well yeah, Jeonghan was aware that his classmate was shy; he never said much during class, preferring to work alone than working in groups, mostly keeping to himself in between lectures. But his classmate - known as Lee Jihoon, Jeonghan had _finally_ learned his name - was so quiet during the ride to Jihoon’s house that Jeonghan wondered if he had accidentally killed the guy with his driving of something.

Not that he’s _bad_ at driving or anything, although he knows his best friend Joshua would disagree. Jeonghan does think he’s good at driving, if he can say so personally. He finds himself hoping that Jihoon thinks so too.

He can’t help but want to impress his classmate, although he doesn’t know why. Ever since the semester had started and ever since Jeonghan had seen Jihoon in the halls of the university for the first time, he had been drawn to him. Maybe it was the aura around him that made it, or maybe it was the way that Jihoon had quietly hummed along to the song that was playing in his headphones.

It had been endearing, really.

Maybe that’s why Jeonghan had offered Jihoon a ride home; he felt so drawn to him, so warm inside whenever their eyes met, that he couldn’t just ignore the panicked look on Jihoon’s face when he realized that he had missed the bus and had to wait another hour for the next one.

Maybe that’s why they are sitting here now, in Jeonghan’s small and old, but still fully functional, car, driving to the other side of town so Jihoon can get home somewhat in time. Although the stereo is on a low volume, the awkward atmosphere doesn’t let up.

For a while, Jeonghan thinks Jihoon won’t say anything for the entire ride, except for, hopefully, a thanks when he gets off in front of his apartment later.

But he’s surprised - literally, he jumps in his seat. In hindsight, he's glad he didn’t crash into the car in front of them - when Jihoon in fact opens his mouth, for the first time since they had gotten into the car about fifteen minutes ago.

“Uh,” he begins, awkwardly, his voice quiet and slightly raspy for not speaking in a while. “You’re going to wrong way.”

A beat passes. An electronic song starts playing on the radio station. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon apologizes, dipping his head to hide his red cheeks from Jeonghan. He speaks quickly, probably from embarrassment. Jeonghan can't help but think it's cute. “I was too nervous thinking about the best way to ask you out to tell you.”

Jeonghan blinks. “What?”

Jihoon blinks too. Before his eyes widen, his face going beet-red. “Uh-”

“You want to ask me out?” Jeonghan begins, his eyes still on the road, but his heart focused on the conversation. His heart is beating loudly in his chest. _What the fuck is happening!_

“Uh, I- I mean… Yes, I guess I do,” Jihoon starts to ramble, the words falling out of his mouth quicker than he probably intended. Jeonghan wants to look over at him, watch every move that the shy kid does, but he needs his eyes to be focused on the road, unless he wants them both to crash. “If you don’t mind of course.”

“I don't mind at all,” Jeonghan replies, voice steadier than he feels. His eyes never leaves the road, but he can feel that Jihoon is staring at him. “I'd love if you'd take me out.”

A chuckle escapes Jihoon's throat, and _my god_ , if the risk of them driving down a cliff wasn't so important, Jeonghan would turn around and stare. It's a beautiful sound, one that's pure and full of happiness, and Jeonghan wants to hear it _again again again._

“On a date or murder you?” Jihoon's voice is dripping in playfulness, and his voice is soft like honey. Jeonghan finds himself grinning.

“Why not both?” Jeonghan jokes, earning him another laugh from Jihoon. He feels accomplished. “But if I do get to say my preferences, I would like the date first so I can die happily.”

Jihoon's cute chuckles appear once more and from the corner of his eyes, Jeonghan sees his shy classmates cheek turn darker. It's a good look, _damn,_ it really is.

“That's a deal then,” Jihoon replies, And Jeonghan can hear the smile in his voice. They sit in a comfortable silence for a moment, both of them basking in what probably is the beginning of something incredible.

The silence is broken by Jihoon though, his face smug.

“You never turned around.”

Jeonghan blinks. “Fuck! Hey, you distracted me.”

Jihoon laughs at him, light and bubbly and _beautiful_.


	2. the person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cop/Thief! AU (chapter name from "miss missing you" by fall out boy")

A gun is pointed straight to his face. It isn’t the first time Jihoon has been in this position; in fact, it has happened so many times in his police career that he slowly had stopped caring about losing his life in these situations. Most of the criminals behind the triggers were low-life, too much of cowards to actually put the bullet through Jihoon’s body.

But this marks the first time that someone he loves is the one behind the trigger.

Jeonghan’s hand is steady on the gun, much more so than any of the other ones that has pointed one in Jihoon’s face. If it wasn’t for the terror in his face, Jihoon could’ve thought that his lover had been completely cool about this.

“How long has this been going on?” Jihoon finds himself asking, his voice loud to carry over to his lover. His voice is steadier than someone would expect for someone whose having a gun aimed at him.

“The entire time,” Jeonghan replies, and his voice is shaking. Whether it is from fear or adrenaline, Jihoon doesn’t know. “Ever since we became a thing. Even before.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jihoon asks, voice still calm. He has experience of negotiating in tense situations, but this is something different. It almost feels like the first time he negotiated with anyone, and Jihoon is _fucking terrified_.

One misstep, and he might lose his life. One misstep, and he might lose Jeonghan.

“How the _fuck_ was I supposed to say anything?” Jeonghan voices, and he holds onto the bag of money that he had stolen from the small grocery store tighter. Despite the darkness, Jihoon notices how Jeonghan's knuckles are white because of how hard he’s holding the weapon. “I couldn’t just come up and tell you that ‘ _hey I fell in love with you when you were trying to stop me and my friends from robbing that bank, you real fine’_. I couldn’t just fucking do that. And after I went home with you it was already too late to come undone. Do you think I wanted to lose the best thing i’ve ever had?”

“If I was the best thing, why did you lie?” Jihoon can’t help his voice getting a slight edge to it. It’s hard, trying to remain professional and calm in this situation, when all he wants to do is lie and cry and scream.

They had been an amazing couple. Jeonghan had been absolute perfection; his smile had sent shock waves of love through his body and his personality had been a perfect match to Jihoon’s own. Things had been incredible for a long time; the kisses their shared and the future they both dreamed of had been so close.

But Jihoon had been well aware of Jeonghan slipping out of the covers during some nights. The bed got cold easily, and Jeonghan had never really been the best at sneaking, ironically enough. It had happened more often recently, so he had decided to follow Jeonghan out of his own home, curiosity taking the better of him.

Which is the reason they’re standing here, Jeonghan wearing dark, skin-tight clothes and Jihoon wearing his pyjamas, tension high in the air.

“I didn’t want to lose you,” Jeonghan answers after a moment of silence, and his voice _breaks_ as sobs starts to make his whole body shake. “You were perfection. You _are_ perfection. You are the only one who made me feel alive. Truly, utterly, alive.”

Jihoon takes a few more steps toward Jeonghan. The tears are slipping down Jeonghan’s cheek like a waterfall, and Jihoon finds himself wanting to embrace him and hold him close.

They’re close to each other now. If Jeonghan were to pull the trigger, Jihoon would die on the spot.

“I loved you, Jihoon,” Jeonghan continues, his voice hoarse from crying. “I loved you so fucking much and now I lost it all because I can’t say no, _fuck!”_

Jeonghan’s grip on the gun had turned loose while he was sobbing, but the steady grip is now back. The gun is staring Jihoon straight into the eyes again.

“You didn’t lose anything, Jeonghan,” Jihoon voices, trying to press down the tears that are building up behind his eyes. Now is not the time to cry.

“I lost you,” Jeonghan sobs out, his eyes never leaving Jihoon’s. “That was all that mattered to me.”

“You didn’t lose me,” Jihoon voices, and he takes the last few steps until the gun is pressed into his chest. His heart is beating rapidly, his mind spinning. He is terrified, terrified of this being his last few moments of his life, but he can’t give up now. “Put down that gun and we can work things out.”

“No!” Jeonghan yells, and Jihoon jumps in the spot. “You’re just going to turn me in. Just like everyone else.”

“I won’t,” Jihoon replies. “We’ll work it out, Jeonghan. I promise. Just put the gun down.”

A tense silence fall over them while they look into each other’s eyes. The tears are still streaming down Jeonghan’s cheeks and Jihoon’s heart is still beating loudly in his ears.

He starts to believe that Jeonghan will pull the trigger.

Until something in Jeonghan’s face softens, and the gun and the bag of money falls down onto the ground.

Jihoon’s arms are around Jeonghan immediately as they sink down onto their knees on the wet grass. Jeonghan’s arms wrap around Jihoon’s form, holding him so tightly that the police officer barely can breath.

“We’ll be fine. We’ll be fine,” Jihoon repeats as Jeonghan sobs into his shoulder. He tries to be reassuring, despite the tears that are leaking down his own cheeks. “We’ll be fine.”

As the sirens from back-up starts to sound in the distance, they hold each other closer. Neither of them ready to let go.


	3. i get nervous when i'm happy (cause what comes up, must come down)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> forbidden love!au (song title from "nervous" by x ambassadors)

They must meet in secret. In the dark woods, where the dark falls quicker and heavier, is where they both meet, in the middle of the night.

Despite the woods being the most authentic place to sneak around at, both of them know that they aren’t really safe here either. One day, someone will rig security cameras. One day, someone will rig audio recorders. All they can do is hope that that day has yet to come, and that their hiding spot stays their very own for as long as possible.

It’s slightly after two am when Jeonghan sneaks out of from his house. Seokmin is still sleeping soundly inside of their home, just like he usually does when Jeonghan sneaks out. Jeonghan thanks destiny that he was paired up with a heavy sleeper during Matching Day.

Matching Day. The day where your entire future is decided for you. The day when you get matched with someone who you’re going to marry, who you’re going to start a family with. With no real say on the person that’s chosen.

In the beginning, Jeonghan had been content with Seokmin. The guy smiled like he was the sunshine on a dark grey earth, and it made Jeonghan drawn to his husband-to-be. He really thought that he might had been able to fall in love with him.

But then he met Lee Jihoon, one cold November day, when the snow was falling over the city. A smile, a warm gaze and a few shared words between them had been all it took for them both to feel something special towards each other.

That’s why Jeonghan sneaks out into the woods each night. That’s the reason Jeonghan knows exactly where to put his feet so he doesn’t alert any of the security cameras on the nearby buildings as he sneaks out. That’s the reason Jeonghan leaves Seokmin alone in their shared bed for a few hours each night.

If only they’d been paired together, Jihoon and him. Because _fuck what the leaders and society thinks_. They don’t know anything about love except for their unrealistic protocol and systems that they use on matching day. Ever since Jeonghan got to know Jihoon, he’s goddamn sure they don’t know a single thing about true love. All they want is to keep the balance in society - that’s why they’re paired based on class, among other factors. That’s the reason why Jihoon and Jeonghan would never be matched together - because Jihoon’s family was in a class under him, barely having enough money to feed all the hungry mouths.

It’s not _fair._

Before long, Jeonghan is back in the woods again, the woods that he has visited every day for almost 6 months now. The familiar shape of Jihoon is close to one of the trees, just as he usually is. Jeonghan can feel the grin tug on his lips, but he does everything he can to keep it contained within him.

He can’t let it show until he’s under the darkness of the trees' branches. The sudden tug of his lips would be considered suspicious, if anyone were to see it. He would probably get called in and be given punishment.

Despite the leaders doing everything they can to keep the punishment system in the dark, a lot of information has slipped out. Some of the people who break the rules of the matching gets tortured until they become almost apathetic. Others will be thrown into a prison, to never again feel the sun rays against their skin. Others will be killed.

Jeonghan has gotten past all the anxiety of it though; he knows that their secret isn’t going to last forever. Someday, it’ll be out in the open for everyone to see, and they’ll both be punished. Even if they were to stop with their activities right at this moment, it wouldn’t save them; their destiny is already decided for them. They already made their choice.

They just have to live as much as they can, for the time they still have in the dark.

Jeonghan is close enough that he can make out Jihoon’s face under the shadow of the large trees. The smile is big and bright on his lips, and Jeonghan can’t help but feel the relief flood in his chest despite how _wrong_ this is.

No one ever made him happier than Jihoon does. No one would ever compare to him.

Finally safe in the shadows, Jeonghan lets his smile blow into a huge grin. As soon as he’s within distance, he throws his arms around Jihoon and presses their lips together.

It’s always soft and fluttery, kissing Jihoon. He’s eager and happy to kiss back. Their lips move in a practiced rhythm, and Jihoon shivers as Jeonghan’s fingers trail up his arm.

It’s moments like this that Jeonghan wishes he could stop time. So he could stay here with Jihoon forever, without having to worry about when they will be found out.

“Hi,” Jihoon greets when they pull away from their kiss. It’s soft and quiet, no more than a whisper, but it pulls on Jeonghan’s heart strings, making his arms hold him tighter.

"Hi," he greets back and he sees how Jihoon shivers as his warm breath hits his cool lips. 

"How long do you have today?" Jihoon asks, his fingers pulling at the hem of Jeonghan's shirt. Jeonghan can't help but smile down to his secret lover. 

"About an hour," Jeonghan whispers, before pecking Jihoon on the lips. An hour is what they always have when they meet up, but Jihoon asks every day anyway. Maybe Jihoon is waiting for the day that Jeonghan will say something else, giving them more time together.

Jeonghan's heart breaks a little. There will never be more time.

"Okay," Jihoon replies slowly, before standing on his tip-toes to press kisses down Jeonghan's neck. Jeonghan sighs as Jihoon's fingers slip under his shirt. "Can I?"

"Yeah," Jeonghan asks and raises his hands so Jihoon can slip off Jeonghan's t-shirt more efficiently. The cool wind hitting Jeonghan's warm skin makes him shiver, but it's not entirely uncomfortable; Jihoon's gaze is warm and loving, and somehow, he feels like that's all he needs.

"Beautiful," Jihoon whispers, despite all the times that he has seen Jeonghan like this before. There's something in his eyes that makes Jeonghan's heart drop though; something that makes him want to pull Jihoon closer to him and never let him go. "I wish you would be mine."

Jeonghan's breath hitches, and for a few moments, they just stare at each other in silence. Jeonghan is the one to take the first steps towards the other, wrapping his arms around Jihoon and pulling their bodies flat against one another.

"I'm yours. Tonight, and tomorrow night, and the night after that," Jeonghan whispers into Jihoon's ear. Jihoon melts into him. "Even if I'm forced to be with someone else during the days, you're all I'm thinking about. You have my heart. Forever and always."

Jihoon cuddles closer to him and presses a kiss to Jeonghan's chest. It tickles. "Until death do us apart?"

The fact that Jihoon is also aware of the consequences of their actions makes Jeonghan take a deep breath. Their fate is inevitable, but it's still heavy to hear, especially from the person he wants to spend eternity with.

Despite that though, Jeonghan has never been more sure of anything. "Until death do us apart. I promise."

And their share another kiss in the darkness - one kiss closer to the last kiss they will share before their fate catches up to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i love suffering (also i might write a fic with this au in the future,,,,)


	4. if you fall i will catch you, i will be waiting time after time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reincarnation!au (song title from "time after time" by cyndi lauper)

The first time Jihoon met Jeonghan had been three lifetimes ago.

It had been on top of a hill, Jihoon lying under the branches of a tree to hide away from the burning rays of the sun. It was the middle of summer, the tall grass around him swaying in the light breeze.

He was just about to fall asleep, content with getting away from his studies for a few moments, when he heard footsteps climbing up the hill. He opened his eyes slowly, to get them used to the bright sky, before he finally got a good look at the man now standing in front of him.

He was slightly taller than Jihoon, and he had long blond hair. The rays of the sun softly fell upon the man’s head, almost turning the blond hair into a golden, warm glow. He was wearing a pair of pants, that didn’t look like they were too comfortable along with a short sleeved shirt. His body had been amazing, the proportions very pleasing to the eye, and Jihoon found himself unable to breathe as he took in the figure in front of him.

The man seems to have heard Jihoon’s sudden gasp when he’s able to gather back the air in his lungs, because he turns around. His mouth is slightly open, probably in surprise at finding another person on top of the hill, and Jihoon can’t help but think that he looks cute. His brown eyes are like saucers when he takes Jihoon in, but they slowly melt into a softer gaze.

They had introduced themselves, and the man, whose name was Jeonghan, had a blinding smile. It was much more blinding than the sun in the sky, and Jihoon found himself not being able to look away, not wanting to miss a single inch as Jeonghan’s lips tug upwards.

When they say goodbye that evening, after the sun has set, Jihoon is quite sure he is in love; he feels warm when he looks over at Jeonghan, but sad when he thinks about not being able to see him again. The taller man promises though, to meet him there tomorrow as well, and it’s with a grin that they both wave each other farewell.

They meet every day for about a month on top of the hill; no matter if the sun was shining brightly down onto them or if the rain was making them drenched to the bone, they both showed up. Sometimes, they would share food, and other times, they would simply talk about everything between ground and sky. Nothing had ever felt more natural than this.

But one day, it stops. Jihoon doesn’t understand, and he feels empty. He waits until the sun goes down, but Jeonghan doesn’t accompany him at all that day. Jihoon sighs as he walks down the hill, a heavy feeling in his chest as he makes his way home.

It’s the same thing the day after that. And the day after that. And the day after that.

The same day Jihoon stops going to the hill during the day, is the same day he gets the letter. It’s from Jeonghan and in pretty cursive writing he tells Jihoon that he got married away to a woman on the other side of the country. It was his parents who had decided to do so, apparently they had gotten an offer they couldn’t say no to.

The end of the letter is what breaks him though, and he feels tears run down his cheeks as he reads them.

“Jihoon, you are the one I love. Forever and always. Don’t forget me.”

-x-

He didn’t forget. How could he? The brown eyes etched themselves deep in his heart, and despite having been reincarnated three times now, he can still dream about the man with the long blond hair and the warm brown eyes.

Jihoon had watched the world change tremendously, but his feelings for Jeonghan had never changed. Despite having lived a good life in all of his previous lives, he doesn’t feel accomplished.

He still searches for Jeonghan’s face in the people walking the streets or the people sitting with their eyes focused on their phones on the train ride to university and back. He still hasn’t found him, but he doesn’t want to give up, despite how difficult it is, at times.

And it’s a good thing that he doesn’t give up, because he soon finds him. He’s sure.

He knew that Seungcheol, one of Jihoon’s best friends in this current life, had a crush on someone. He wouldn’t shut up about the man who Seungcheol saw as his soulmate, but that he yet had to confess to. Jihoon had told him to get a room, as they say nowadays, but he would soon have to swallow his own words once the said crush visits their shared apartment for the first time.

The first thing that hits him is the brown eyes, that soften around the edges as their gazes meet.

And suddenly, it's like Jihoon is back at the tree. Taking cover from the warm sun rays. Jeonghan's warm eyes are shining down towards him as he offers his hand, the smile never leaving his face.

Jihoon freezes on the spot - those warm eyes, that wonderful smile and the soft voice... And despite the long blond hair having been replaced with shorter brown locks, Jihoon is sure. It really is the person Jihoon has spent so long searching for. 

The beautiful man introduces himself as Jeonghan and the voice in Jihoon's head is repeating _it's him it's him it's him._

Feeling like he should not intrude on their hang-out, Jihoon soon excuses himself and leaves to go to his bedroom, despite his heart yelling at him to say something to make Jeonghan stay with him.

As soon as he closes the door behind him, he leans his back against it, sliding down until he's sitting. His breathing is rapid, his heart is beating and his mind is spinning. 

He can hear Seungcheol and Jeonghan talk softly on the other side of the door, and he tries to ignore the aching feeling that's building in his chest. He finally found the man he's been looking for all this time, only to find that he might lose him directly?

It's driving him insane. It hurts.

Jihoon tries to focus on other things; he watches videos of cats and live performances he likes. He tries to write music, a hobby that's been with him every lifetime, but it doesn't work. He finds his mind wandering over to the man beneath the tree, to the man that currently is in his living room.

After what feels like an eternity of trying to distract himself from the pain, a knock on his bedroom door gains his attention. His eyes widen when they meet brown, warm ones.

"Do you want to follow me out?" Jeonghan asks sweetly, and Jihoon feels all the words leave his mind. He can't do anything but nod, feeling lightheaded by the small smile that Jeonghan sends his way.

His arms are shaking as he puts on his coat in the hallway, barely noticing that Seungcheol isn't present in the room. Opening the door, they both head down the stairs and out in the cool air.

"He confessed to me," Jeonghan begins as they reach the sidewalk. Jihoon feels his mouth fall open, but there isn't enough time for him to say anything. "But I turned him down. It was sweet and all, but I'm not interested."

Jihoon lets out a small 'oh', throwing his gaze down onto the wet pavement. His heart is beating quickly in his chest again and he hates the feeling of delight he gets at the fact that his best friend was turned down.

"I'm interested in you," Jeonghan says suddenly, and Jihoon's gaze snaps back up. The look on Jeonghan's face is one of honesty and he looks amazing in the light from one of the streetlights. "I can't put my finger on why, but I felt this connection when I saw you earlier today. Something that told me that you will be extremely important to me. And I want to see if that feeling is true. If you'll let me, of course."

Jeonghan looks beautiful and pure as he stares at Jihoon with his lips formed into a small smile. The brown locks that are framing his face look soft, and Jihoon wants to reach out to run his fingers through it.

"Of course," Jihoon replies in an exhale, and Jeonghan's smile widens.

It turns into the same blinding smile from three lifetimes ago. The same smile that was brighter than the sun in the sky and the one that Jihoon had found himself not look away from.

As Jeonghan intertwines their hands, their fates intertwine once more. 

After all this time.


	5. i've been thinking too much (help me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mind bonds!au (song title from "ride" by twenty one pilots)

“Can you knock it off with the Bruno Mars already?” Jeonghan’s voice says in Jihoon's mind, as he tries to focus on the homework in front of him. “I know he’s a musical genius, but god damn, the same verse has been in your head for _days_.”

Jihoon sighs, although he can’t help the grin that grows on his lips. “It has not.”

“ _Yes,_ Jihoon, it has!” Jeonghan doesn’t sound mad, but maybe a slight bit annoyed. But most of all, he sounds amused. “I’ve just been minding my business when all of a sudden, I hear ‘ _hey baby, I think I wanna marry you_.”

Jeonghan sings along to the melody that has been spinning in their mental conversation for days now, and Jihoon can’t help but laugh out loud.

“I don’t know about you or your friends,” Jeonghan continues. The smile is evident in his voice now, and although Jihoon never has gotten the chance to meet him yet, he can almost imagine the smile spreading over the other man’s features. “But mine are seriously starting to get worried when I suddenly start talking about how annoying it is to get proposed to all the time.”

Jihoon’s laughter gets louder at that, trying to hide his big smile behind his hand. Although he is alone in his apartment, he feels the need to keep his emotions under control.

But it’s hard when Jeonghan makes him feel _so much._ They’ve never met physically yet - they will soon though, Jihoon promises it - but it’s like they spend their entire days next to each other.

He and Jeonghan had shared their mind space for almost two years now; he still remembers the day when Jeonghan’s voice first appeared and how Jihoon was quite sure he was going insane at first. He still remembers the way Jeonghan’s mind was spinning as he also heard JIhoon’s voice inside of his head, the words “why” being repeated over and over until they finally managed to calm each other down.

They had gotten so far since then; they had gotten to know each other - they knew each other’s hobbies, about their friends and what happened at their universities. Before they went to sleep, they would usually spend the time talking about whatever. It was the moment of the day that Jihoon looked the most forward to, because their conversations were always interesting, never forced or a waste of time. They always learned something about the world, or about each other, during their conversations.

It had been during one of those conversations that Jeonghan had accidentally let his thoughts wonder a bit too far then he had planned. Jihoon had heard the “god, I’m so in love with you” clearly in his head and his jaw had dropped open in shock.

Jeonghan started to apologize, but Jihoon had cut him off with a confession of his own. Ever since, they had been a couple - a couple that had never met, a couple that had never spoken to each other in person.

It was a weird relationship, but it felt _right_. Jihoon knew that he wouldn’t want to have anyone else than Jeonghan.

“I bet you don’t hate it as much as you say you do,” Jihoon thinks, trying to keep the softness away from the voice that’s appearing in Jeonghan’s mind. It seems to fail though, as he can hear Jeonghan’s breath hitch.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Jeonghan admits, and he goes quiet for a moment. Jihoon can’t help but think that Jeonghan had left the conversation, only to hear his voice a few seconds later. “I only wish that the words came from you, and not some song they play from the radio.”

It’s Jihoon’s breath that hitches this time. The warmth in his chest keeps spreading.

“One day, they will be from me, one hundred procent,” Jihoon thinks, putting down his pen on top of his notebook. His mind is too occupied with love and Jeonghan’s name to be able to focus on the math problems he’s supposed to solve until tomorrow. “And when I tell you them I’ll be right next to you, holding you close.”

A beat. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither,” Jihoon says, and he closes his eyes. Whenever he closes his eyes, it’s like he can feel Jeonghan closer to him. As if he can feel him next to him, despite them both being hours away from each other. “It’s my promise to you.”

Jeonghan hums in his mind, a soft sound that makes Jihoon relax against his chair. No more words are shared with one another, but Jihoon can still feel Jeonghan’s presence in his mind. He doesn’t mind.

He hopes that they soon will be next to each other soon, sharing not only their mind space, but also the air in between them.


	6. i hate you i love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i call this one "save lee chan" (also known as a gang au! where everyone fear the hatred between the leaders of two rivaling gangs, but plot twist, the leaders are actually in love)
> 
> featuring background soonhoon!!

One of the first things Lee Chan had learned when he became a member of the notorious and despised gang, The Blue Diamonds, was that their leader. Yoon Jeonghan, code-name Angel, _hated_ the rivaling gang’s leader - Lee Jihoon, code-name Boss.

“According to the rumors, Jeonghan has managed to shoot Jihoon straight in the chest _three_ times now!” Seungkwan, another member of ‘The Blue Diamonds’, had exclaimed in a whisper-yell, despite them being the only people in the room. “And he _still_ survived. He’s a demon, a demon, I tell you!”

Sure, Chan had believed it back then, but in hindsight - maybe he should have questioned the reliability of Seungkwan’s source a bit more. 

Because the first time Chan sees the leaders together, they aren't in a fight, or in a car chase. No, the first time Lee Chan sees the two dangerous leaders together is in one of the fancier restaurants in town. They’re sharing a table, their hands intertwined and their giggles are sounding through out the restaurant.

Lee Chan is truly trying to keep his speechless face under control - because Soonyoung is on the other side of their shared table, he _finally_ managed to score a date and he’s not going to let this revelation ruin it - but, seriously, _what the fuck?_

It’s like - It’s like they’re _in love._ They’re acting like the couple in school that everyone gets annoyed by, the couple that never stop with their PDA and their sweet words towards each other, despite everyone else begging them to.

“What do you want to eat?” Soonyoung asks with a voice so soft that Chan could kiss him, if he wasn’t so busy watching the feared leaders wrap their legs around one another under the table.

“Whatever you want to eat, love,” Chan replies sweetly, loving the way the pink spreads throughout his crush’s face. Soonyoung sends him a small smile, before calling the waiter over.

Glancing back to the other table, he focuses on trying to analyze Jeonghan and Jihoon. 

Their smiles are, in lack for a better term, _gross._ They look so madly in love with each other that Chan almost feels secondhand embarrassment as he watches them flirt, probably trying to undress one another with their eyes.

Chan wants to gag. Since when did his life turn into one of those sit-coms that he used to watch on television?

"Channie," the sweetest voice Chan has ever heard in his life says, and he turns around to stare at Soonyoung. Soonyoung looks confused, which isn't surprising, considering that his date is focused on something completely different. "Is something wrong? You've been glaring at that couple for a while now."

"No, it's nothing," Chan reassures, not wanting to explain to the _fucking love of his life_ that _yes i am in a gang, cool huh? and apparently my boss is banging the leader from our rivaling gang and i can't believe this is happening_. It doesn't really seem like something that you should mention at a first date... or ever.

"Am I boring?" Soonyoung asks instead, making Chan's heart freeze in his chest. The downcast look in Soonyoung's eyes makes Chan want to hit himself over and over. How could he be so _stupid?_ He should pay attention to the man he will spend the rest of his life with (he hopes, at least), not ogling other people.

“No! That's definitely not it! It’s just… difficult to explain, but I’ll try- “ Chan suddenly sees Soonyoung’s attention being directed elsewhere, to the table that he had spent too long watching today. His crush’s mouth falls open, and he turns around to look at what the gang leaders are up to now.

And when Chan does, his jaw falls open as well.

Jeonghan is on one knee, holding a ring case up to his supposed-to-be enemy and apparent lover. Jihoon’s eyes are glossy with tears, his mouth slack, as he tries to think of the words to say.

It takes a few moments, but soon enough Jihoon is repeating the words _yes yes yes yes_ over and over, as he jumps into his fiance’s arms. They share a kiss as the crowd cheers.

Chan just watches.

"That's-" Soonyoung begins his voice wavering. Chan turns around to meet his gaze, and he feels himself panic as tears are streaming down Soonyoung's cheeks. "That's beautiful!"

"What," Chan lets out, feeling his jaw drop. What is this evening even turning into.

"No, but Channie, _imagine!_ Getting proposed to in public, the love of your life showing off their love for you like that! Amazing," Soonyoung woos, and Chan can feel his cheeks get warmer because _no he's definitely not thinking about how he should propose to Soonyoung in the middle of an amusement park in a couple of years, absolutely not, shut up._ "They're so lucky."

"I can do it for you too, you know," Chan says before he can think, because one; he wants Soonyoung to know he loves him and two; he never wants to see or hear about Jeonghan or Jihoon again tonight (or ever. whichever works). He realizes what he said when Soonyoung turns beat red though, and Chan feels his heart miss a beat in his chest. "Uh- I-I meant, if you want to, of course? When we're ready? Because I'm really serious about you and I want this to work out and I'm sorry if i'm getting ahead of myself but I really think you're the love of my life. Uh- Ma-Maybe I should shut up."

"Oh, Channie!" Soonyoung exclaims and walks around the table to throw his arms around Chan, tears streaming down his face. "I'm serious about you too. I can't wait for you to propose to me."

The crowd, apparently thinking that another proposal happened, begins to cheer again. Chan hides his red face in the junction where Soonyoung's neck meets his shoulder, but not before spotting the two feared gang-leaders leave the restuarant, holding hands. _Finally_.

So for the first time that night, Chan feels himself relax. His hands wraps around Soonyoung's form that's still clinging to him, and he smiles.

"I can't wait either."

\- x -

When Chan enters their hideout the next day, Seungkwan is once more talking about his favorite subject.

“I swear, it’s good that Jihoon and Jeonghan don’t meet each other often!” he exclaims to Hansol, whose eyes are wide and curious. “They would probably kill each other on the spot if they ever ran into each other.”

Chan really tries not to, but he can’t help it - a chuckle escapes from his throat, making the blond blabbering man go silent.

“What’s so funny?” Seungkwan asks, his voice defensive. Chan just shakes his and bites the inside of his cheek.

He remembers the shiny silver rings that had been placed on both of the fearsome leaders yesterday. He remembers their date and their kiss. Jeonghan and Jihoon might be leaders of rivaling gangs, but they’re quite the opposite of enemies.

Chan should tell Seungkwan about what he saw yesterday, but then again - it would be _hilarious_ to see his reaction when he finds out from their leader himself.

So he turns back to Seungkwan and Hansol and gives them the most innocent smile he can muster.

“Nothing.”


	7. I wanna sleep next to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No wait wake up did you hear me- the roommate did it! AU (title from "talk me down" by troye sivan!)

A hand on his arm, shaking him awake, is the reason that Jihoon is awake at  _ fucking  _ 2:10 am. On a weekday. Also known as; he has work tomorrow. Also known as: he needs to wake up in three  _ fucking hours _ .

He would slap the person who woke him up, if it wasn’t for the fact that it was the love of his life that was staring intensely at him as he opened up his eyes. 

Jeonghan looks much less tired than he should be and much more excited. What has gotten Jeonghan giddy as a child in the early hours of the morning ( _ also known as: the time they should be asleep)  _ Jihoon doesn’t even care enough to guess.

And it seems to be his lucky day! Because Jeonghan is quick to tell him what’s got him grinning so bad!

“I solved the case, babe!” Jeonghan says, so obviously happy that Jihoon feels bitter.

So bitter, in fact, that he turns around and dives back under the covers. He can hear Jeonghan whine at the action.

But  _ fuck this _ . He’s not doing this now. He can do it in a few hours, when they’re back at the precinct, when they’re back at work - not now, in the middle of the night, when they should be cuddling each other as they sleep, lying close to each other and share warmth under the cozy blankets - not thinking about who the culprit behind the gruesome crime scene they had been to earlier today was.

“No, Hoonie, wake up!” Jeonghan’s hands are soon back on Jihoon’s arm, continuing to shake his body, as to keep him from falling asleep once again. “It was the roommate! The roommate is the murderer!”

“Please, Hannie, I love you and I love how smart you are, but I don’t want to hear about the case in the remaining,” Jihoon hates that he has to open his eyes to look at the digital clock on the bedside table, the blaring red numbers making his tired eyes sting. “Five or so hours.”

“But we’ve had so much  _ trouble _ with this case!” Jeonghan continues to argue, his hands still shaking Jihoon’s body. “And it was in front of us  _ all along!  _ I knew her story didn’t make sense.”

“That’s great, babe,” Jihoon mumbles, trying to fall back asleep despite the way his body is swaying with every movement Jeonghan puts onto his arm. 

“The evidence clearly points to her as well, now that we have all the information,” Jeonghan continues and  _ oh my god, can he just go back to sleep already.  _ “I should call the boss and tell him all about this. Tell them to start interrogating her right away!”

“You will get fired if you do that now,” Jihoon replies sleepily, and he hears Jeonghan huff next to him. Jihoon doesn’t need to look at him to know that he’s pouting as well.

“You don’t care about this!” Jeonghan says with the voice he  _ knows  _ is going to break Jihoon’s resolve. That’s the bad thing with dating another cop - you can’t expect them not to notice everything that affects you. “I was so excited and you don’t even seem happy for us or this case!”

Fuck, there it is. Jeonghan’s pout can be heard in his voice, and Jihoon can feel himself sway on his resolve to go back to sleep.

He reaches out his arm and gets a hold of Jeonghan’s shoulder, and Jeonghan lets out a voice of surprise as he softly falls down onto Jihoon’s chest. Jihoon knows that Jeonghan tries his hardest to stay mad, but he can feel how his boyfriend practically  _ melts  _ into his embrace, and he knows that it’s all fine.

“Of course, I care, Hannie,” Jihoon mumbles, resting his chin against the top of Jeonghan’s head. “I love you and I love your intelligent brain that managed to finally solve this case, after who knows how long. I’m proud of you! But we have work in just a few hours, and I don’t know about you, but I love sleeping next to you a lot.”

Jihoon watches as Jeonghan rises and fall along with his own breathing. Jeonghan cuddles further into Jihoon, his arms draping over his boyfriend’s frame. He sighs deeply.

“I love sleeping next to you a lot too,” Jeonghan mumbles, and although Jihoon can’t see his face, he knows that he’s smiling. 

“That’s good,” Jihoon mumbles, pressing a soft kiss to Jeonghan’s hair. Jeonghan shivers at the touch. “Let’s go to sleep now, love. When we wake up again, you can explain to me in detail how you figured it out. Deal?”

“Deal,” Jeonghan chuckles, turning his face around so that his right cheek is resting upon Jihoon’s chest, straight over his heart. Jeonghan once told him that he loves listening to the sound of Jihoon’s heart beating, and remembering that while he’s watching this scene makes his cheeks warmer than usual. “I love you, Hoonie.”

“I love you too,” Jihoon mumbles back, the arm that’s wrapped around Jeonghan’s shoulder pulling him closer. He closes his eyes, and is before long, back asleep.

When he wakes up, he’s greeted with a kiss and an hour long version of how Jeonghan figured it all out.


	8. i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEATH
> 
> hanahaki disease!au (song title from "breakeven" by the script)

Forget-me-nots; a small flower, usually with 5 petals. Most of the flowers are blue, but there are other color variations depending on the kind of flower.

For Jihoon, forget-me-nots are blue with a splash of red. For Jihoon, forget-me-nots are the thing that's slowly killing him from the inside.

The flowers had been growing inside of him for a few months now; the pain that had spread through out his body as the flowers first planted themselves in his stomach had made him take sick leave from work. He was barely able to leave the bed and no medication seemed to help. The pain raking his body eventually passed, but other symptoms appeared instead; the back of his throat started to itch, and whenever he coughed a blue flower came out.

Blue, with a splash of red. Blood, red and warm, covered the petals and stained Jihoon's fingers. 

He had managed to hide it so far - 'it' being the fact that he slowly was dying.

Jihoon was well aware of the consequences of this sickness; Hanahaki Disease, as it was called, was fatal if it existed within someone for too long. The longer the flowers existed within someone, the more places the flowers spread; it would eventually spread to his lungs and make it hard for him to breathe. It would end with him choking on the flowers and his own blood, resulting in his death.

Of course, while researching the disease, he had learned about it's origin; unrequited love. Jihoon was in love with someone who didn't return his feelings.

It was Yoon Jeonghan.

The upperclassman, that always hung out with Seungcheol and Joshua. That always wore a smile on his lips and gave a happy greeting whenever he saw Jihoon. The man with the warm eyes that had Jihoon falling for him faster than he had ever fallen for anyone else.

But he was well aware of the fact that it wasn't a mutual feeling; he had seen the way Jeonghan looked at Mingyu, the handsome, young man that was in the year under Jihoon. 

He still remember the feeling of his heart dropping in his chest when he saw the small smile Jeonghan had on his face when the underclassman was mentioned. 

It was still difficult to grasp; that this sickness would kill him. That the flowers that he coughed up more often than not nowadays was like poison to his body; slowly breaking it down until nothing was left.

But he had started to wrap his mind around it, and tried to live his life the best he could. He started hanging out with his friends a lot more after school and during their day offs.

One of these hang-outs stood out as especially important to Jihoon. He had met up with Joshua, Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jun in a restaurant, to just spend time and eat some good food. The hours they spent together had been extremely fun, and for once, Jihoon's throat was soar from something else than the flowers that ripped his skin apart from the inside.

As he waved goodbye to them at the end of the day, he noticed that something was different with Jeonghan; his skin was slightly more flushed as he looked at Jihoon, the same small smile that had been sent to Mingyu earlier now being sent to him. 

Jihoon wasn't dense; he knew what those signs represented. But he brushed it off as his imagination playing tricks on him.

The next morning, he woke up without the pain in his chest.

He wasn't coughing up any flowers and he could breathe better than he had been for the past few weeks. It felt like he was in a dream.

But it doesn't go back to the state that it was before; no more flowers make their way out of his throat and no pain squeeze his insides. He wakes up feeling like he did before all of this begun, a way of feeling Jihoon had forgotten about.

And since it's over, it could only mean one thing.

Jeonghan is in love with him too.

He gets confirmation when Jeonghan comes by the day after, smiling shyly as he stands outside of Jihoon's door.

Despite already knowing what Jeonghan's going to say, it feels amazing to hear the words "I'm in love with you, Jihoon," fall out from his lips. It feels unreal when the man that Jihoon has loved ever since he met him leans down so their lips can meet in a kiss.

The next time he sees Forget-me-nots, they're a vibrant blue. There's no splash of blood to see, and Jihoon can't help but smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is more like a drabble than anything, but i really wanted to write something about this prompt. i've always been really fascinated by it, and who knows? someday, i might write a longer piece about it


	9. the memories I never can escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amnesia!au (song title from "amnesia" by 5 seconds of summer)

**2nd February**

Hi, Jeonghan.

I’m sorry that I don’t remember you. I know you said it was fine, but I somehow knew that you weren’t. I’m sorry. 

Joshua was here earlier today. He looked really down as well, although he tried to look happy in front of me. It didn’t work. I saw right through him, just as I saw through you. 

He told me a lot of things about me, about you and about everyone else. He told me that Mingyu loves to cook food for all of us. He told me that Wonwoo is currently writing a book and that Vernon is going to United States next month.

He told me about the accident. About the three weeks I was in coma. And about your worries. 

I’m sorry I worried you. I hope I’ll be able to show a braver face next time we’ll meet. 

_ Lee Jihoon. _

**15th February**.

Hello again, Jeonghan.

You looked even more broken today. It made my heart hurt, but I don’t know why. I just wanted to pull you close and hold you until that frown faded away.

But I can’t do that, can I?

I have a feeling that would hurt you even more.

_ Lee Jihoon _

**3rd April**

Where are you, Jeonghan?

You haven’t visited me in a week now. I miss your presence. I miss you. 

I hope you come back soon.

_ Lee Jihoon _

**15th April**

You told me you can’t continue visiting me anymore. You don't have the strength, apparently.

It hurts.

**28 May**

I heard from Seungkwan that you moved today. Far from here. 8 hours by car. 

Was it to get away from me?

**5th June**

I was released from the hospital today. Everyone was there to meet me. I counted to 11.

You were missing.

**17th July**

I dreamt about you. A nightmare. That you won't come back to me.

Please tell me that's not true.

**18th September**

I haven’t thought about you in a while. I wonder how you are. Are you well?

Considering the few words I’ve heard from you, I guess you haven’t thought about me either. My memories are slowly coming back. Yesterday, I remember singing one of my songs on stage. I remember the audience cheering. I remember you cheering.

Soonyoung told me it was only a few days before the accident. It’s coming back.

**11th October**

Oh my god. Jeonghan. I’m so sorry. I never knew.

I’m so sorry.

**31st December**

Happy new years Eve, Jeonghan.

It’s almost been a year now. Time passes by quick when everything falls apart.

I heard you found someone new. I’m happy for you. You deserve happiness.

I’m sorry I was too late to give you that.

But I hope that, in the time we were together, that I made you happy. Seungkwan assured me I did. Mingyu too. But it means nothing if it doesn’t come from you.

I know that I was happy too. I know that now. Much too late, but still.

I knew that I loved you. I loved that you were mine. I still wishes it was like that at times.

It must have hurt so much when I didn’t remember you. I can understand why you moved. I wouldn’t be able to stand it either. 

I hope to see you someday. I hope to speak with you someday. Maybe we’ll run into each other, or maybe I’ll gather my courage enough to send these letters.

Probably not though. I’m too much of a coward.

But I sincerely hope that our paths will cross again. And that we’ll get another chance. A fair chance, for once. 

Until that day; thank you for everything you did for me. I’m sorry I forgot. I will never forgive myself for it. 

And I love you, so, so, much.

_ Forever yours, _

_ Lee Jihoon. _


	10. I can't decide whether you should live or die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘I’m meant to kill you but I’ve been watching you for a week to work out how and you’re just too nice.’ (title from "i can't decide" by the scissor sisters)

"I'll entrust you with this mission," Seungkwan says in a voice that is all too stern, as he was sitting in his big office chair, petting a kitten. If they weren't talking about killing a dude, Jihoon would've laughed out loud. "You're our very best, and you have all my faith in that you complete this quickly."

"Yes, sir," Jihoon replies, but his boss seems to ignore him, in favor for petting and making small sounds to the black ball of fur that's resting in his lap. Figuring that the conversation is over, Jihoon turns around and walks out of the office.

In the elevator going up to surface level, he takes a better look at the papers that Seungkwan's assistant (and boyfriend. they _really_ didn't know how to be subtle) had given him earlier.

The target is Yoon Jeonghan, DOB 951004. The picture taking up a small portion of the white paper shows a handsome young man, with brown wavy hair and a small smile on his lips. The picture seems to be from his current job as a detective at the police department, the uniform making it quite obvious. 

A police officer, huh? No matter his fancy title, Jihoon could take him down, no time!

He continues to read after the elevator comes to a stop at ground level, and he takes a seat in the waiting hall, that's currently empty, except for a single cleaner mopping the floors.

The reason Jeonghan, an innocent looking man in his early twenties, had become a target was simple enough; he had gotten someone charged with murder, and now the culprit's friends had payed money to make Jeonghan lose his life.

Jihoon can't help but feel like it's a waste. He didn't know Jeonghan - this is the first time he's seen his face - but it seems like a loss to the world to make him leave it so early. It's weird, Jihoon doesn't usually feel like that when it comes to their targets. It's not logical.

Oh well. He wasn't going to _not_ follow through with the mission. 

He always accomplishes his mission, after all.

-x-

The first step of the plan; mapping.

It wasn't the most _enjoyable_ step on his path to success, but it needed to be done. To make the scene look like an accident he needed to know where to ambush the target, and to ambush the target he needed to know his habits.

It was easy to get started; hiding in a tree outside of the police department got him a clear view of Yoon Jeonghan, as he emerged from his parked car. His eyes follows the man's form, until he disappears behind the doors.

Jihoon spends the rest of Jeonghan's work day up in the branches. He doesn't want to miss any important information about his target's day, hence why he doesn't even climb down to get something to eat.

Jihoon is _very_ professional, you see.

It seems like today was one of those days where Jeonghan didn't leave the department, because he doesn't show again until he's out of the building after a full eight hours of work.

He starts to walk towards his car again, probably eager to get home, but he suddenly stops. Jihoon cranes his neck to get a better look.

A child is standing in front of Jeonghan, crying. From what Jihoon can hear from the child's very loud sobbing, it looks like he lost his mom. Jeonghan kneels down and smiles at the child, starting to comfort the young youth.

It's a warm, comforting smile, and it manages to make Jihoon's heart jump in his chest.

Before Jeonghan can help the child more though, the mother runs up to them. She thanks Jeonghan, and from the looks of it, she's telling her kid to say thank you as well. 

And Jeonghan just grins and waves them goodbye as they leave the station. 

Jihoon's heart is beating loudly in his chest, which is something new. Never before has his heart beaten quite this rapidly in his chest while out on a mission before. It's strange, and for a while he wonders if he's going to be sick...

His worries make him miss the moment when Jeonghan gets into his car and heads home. Damn.

-x-

A couple of days later is one of Jeonghan's days off. Jihoon knows this through his _one reliable source_ (Joshua Hong is like the only person Jihoon actually trusts outside of himself) that also tells him that Jeonghan usually visits the gym before lunch when he's off.

And sure enough; Jeonghan enters the gym around eleven am, wearing a tank top and a pair of sweatpants. Jihoon, who's disguised as just another visitor to the gym today, is trying his hardest not to stare. Because Jeonghan looks _good_.

Good? Did he say good? 

He meant awful....

Anyway, Jeonghan moves over to one of the treadmills that's currently unoccupied, which just so happens to be one of the machines next to the one Jihoon is currently using. _Great, just great_.

Jeonghan has an incredible physique, and Jihoon can't help but be impressed. He's running really fast, barely breaking out into a sweat. He supposes that it's because he's a freaking _cop_ , and his job probably requires a certain level of fitness to be able to do the work properly.

But _damn_. It's hard to focus on the mission, that is to kill this guy, when he looks so good when he runs. Or when he smiles. 

His heart is doing that strange thing again. Maybe he really is becoming sick? And his cheeks are warm on his face. He should definitely get it checked out.

They run next to each other for the remaining hour, Jihoon trying not to stare at the way Jeonghan's body moves when he runs. They don't say a word to each other, but Jihoon does get the feeling that his target is a good person.

But that won't affect the mission, of course not.

-x-

"We found him dead this morning, detective," an older man, his gray hair wet from the rain, says to Jeonghan. They're standing inside of the hallway in the small wooden house. The front door is open, making all the words very clear to Jihoon. "A neighbor that usually visits him broke in when he didn't open the door and found him like this."

"The cause of death?" Jeonghan asks, his voice low and dark and almost _hot_. Which is weird, since they're talking about a crime that has been committed. 

"We aren't certain yet - the body was badly mistreated - but it's not by natural causes, at least," the old man explains, looking down at the papers in his hands. Jihoon can see from his hide-spot behind one of the large bushes at the patio that Jeonghan's brows furrow.

"Since the door was locked when the neighbor arrived, it means that whoever the culprit was, must have been let in by the victim... whose name was?"

"Ong Bae, detective," The old man grumbles and Jihoon recognizes the name immediately.

It was one of his co-workers' targets; if he remembers it correctly, it was Lee Chan who had gotten the mission to assassinate him.

Seems like he did an awful job though, that _bastard_. 

Jihoon would laugh, if it wasn't for the fact that he would reveal is hiding spot if he did.

"Do you have any background information on him? Occupation, social contacts, partners?" Jeonghan asks, his forefinger under his chin. He appears to be deep in though. 

"Not yet, detective. But we're looking into it as we speak," the older man continues, running his hand through his hair. "We'll update you if we find anything out."

"Good," Jeonghan says in a sigh, and Jihoon can see how the old man's eyebrows raises. 

"Something wrong, detective?"

"It's just... all these people that have lost their lives recently.. It's starting to get to me," Jeonghan mumbles, and for the first time Jihoon notices the dark circles under his eyes. "From what we've seen so far, the last few victims haven't done anything bad to anyone. They were normal people, leading normal lives, until one day, it all suddenly ended. It's horrible."

"It is, but that's reality for you," the old cop says, looking up at the grey sky. "It's sucks, really, but you're still young. When you've worked for as long as I have, you won't feel as strongly, for better of for worse."

"I suppose," Jeonghan says, but he doesn't look convinced. Jihoon can see pain in his target's eyes, pain that comes from within, and he finds himself wanting to go up and hold him close.

Jihoon, master assassin. Wants to go and embrace his target in a hug. 

Something is definitely wrong with him. He should book an appointment at the doctor's.

"I need to get some air," Jeonghan says suddenly, and Jihoon freezes as the detective walks out from the hallway of the victim's house and past Jihoon. 

Jeonghan comes to a stop a few meters in front of him, just standing outside, in the rain. Jihoon can see him take deep breaths to calm down.

 _God_ , he wants to comfort him. Tell him that things will get better. That things will work out. For the first time ever, Jihoon wishes he wasn't himself. He wishes that he wasn't the assassin sent out to kill this wonderful man.

It's an awful feeling. It makes him nauseous. 

As soon as Jeonghan goes back inside again, Jihoon sneaks away. 

He can't do more mapping, not when he feels like this. This will just have to do for today.

Hopefully, he'll feel better after a bit of sleep.

-x-

"Your crime scene was a mess."

Chan sighs. "I know. I didn't expect the neighbors to be back so soon."

"Jeonghan has already found some clues," Jihoon continues. He had heard so when he was hiding in the tree outside the police department earlier today. He was really trying not to look _too_ impressed at the fact that Jeonghan had found some traces leading back to Jihoon's co-worker. He has a feeling Chan wouldn't like that very much. Or at all. "You should stay on your toes."

"Look," Chan begins, running a hand through his messy black hair. He's annoyed. "Seungkwan has already given me a scolding. He was extremely mad when the news broke, because that meant he had to stop making out with Hansol. So I already know that I fucked up and that I suck, okay."

Jihoon blinks. But then a smirk tugs at his lips and he shrugs. "Never said you suck. But if the shoe fits, I guess."

"Son of a bitch," Chan mutters back at him, and Jihoon's smirk comes to his lips full force. He loves teasing the youngest assassin here, loves seeing him all riled up.

The only bad thing about that is that Chan seems to like teasing him as much as Jihoon enjoys teasing him. "Speaking about sucking - you done sucking the cop's dick to actually do your job?"

Jihoon freezes and he feels how his neck gets warmer. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about," Chan starts and Jihoon sighs. He does, indeed, know what he's talking about. "You've had the mission for, what, over a week now? And you still haven't done anything. Except probably jerk off once or twice."

"I've been mapping him, that's all."

"Mapping, my fucking ass," Chan's voice gets louder, the evil smile on his lips gets bigger. "You usually only spend two or three days mapping a person before you do the job. What's the difference this time? Your walking-wet-dream got your panties in a twist?"

"Fuck you," Jihoon growls back, and he hates and despises the way Chan only grins wider. "I'm planning to do it tomorrow, you asshole."

He was, in fact, not planning to do it tomorrow. He was, in fact, hesitating whether or not to do it at all. But he had to say it, just to wipe the grin off of Chan's stupid face.

It doesn't work though. The grin, that tells Jihoon that his co-worker already knows too much, persists. "Well, I'll keep my eye out for the body then."

"You better fucking do," Jihoon mutters and walks off angrily. He can hear Chan laugh behind him, but he tries to ignore it.

He also tries to ignore the burning feeling in his chest, that's only growing stronger the more he thinks about tomorrow.

-x-

The ambush part of the mission has always been the one that Jihoon enjoyed the most. It might sound strange, but the feeling of finally succeeding after a couple of days of mapping brings him extreme adrenaline and delight. 

But this target - Yoon Jeonghan - is _different._ Jihoon can't really explain why, but a part of him _doesn't_ want to come up from behind him and end his life.

After spending a great deal of the night awake and thinking, he had come to the conclusion that it was because Jeonghan was just too nice. He would be an awful human being if he went up and killed someone who tried to comfort random crying kids or someone who does his best at solving the crimes that Jihoon and others have commited or someone with _that_ beautiful smile.

He tries to tell himself that he's just thinking too much - it shouldn't be this hard - but when he's standing next to the bus stop outside of Jeonghan's home, hiding from sight, he can't help but feel like he can't do it.

He has the knife in his hand. In theory, it would be easy. It would be just like all the other times he has completed his missions. 

But in reality, he can't do it. Just the thought of pressing the knife into Jeonghan made him want to turn it towards himself instead.

He hears Jeonghan's front door open and close, and soon after he hears the familiar footsteps come closer. 

When Jeonghan's about to turn the corner, just before he Jihoon will appear in his line of sight - the assassin puts his knife away. 

He can't do it. For the first time in his entire career, Jihoon can't kill his target.

Jeonghan comes around the corner as soon as Jihoon's knife is safely in his pocket and his eyes widen. "Oh. Hello," Jeonghan greets, confusion in his voice. 

"Hello," Jihoon greets back, feeling guilty as soon as Jeonghan's lips form a polite smile. _I was about to kill you until just now. I'm sorry._

Jeonghan doesn't seem to realize anything though, gesturing to the bus stop that Jihoon is standing next to. "You're taking the bus too?"

"Yes," Jihoon fumbles, speaking before he can think about it. But it's all worth it for the small smile that Jeonghan sends his way, that makes his heart do weird loops in his chest. 

"Let's take company, shall we?" Jeonghan asks, and Jihoon finds himself nodding, too lost for words.

Jihoon always accomplished his mission, until today. Despite the scolding that's waiting for him when he returns to the headquarters, he thinks that it's worth it, as when he steps off the bus three stations past the one near his house, he has a phone number written on his hand, in the curly font that was Jeonghan's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +10 points to the people who got the detroit: become human reference ;)


	11. I'm trying to soar to the future I was looking for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you were my rival in first grade and damn you’ve gotten really hot since then au // free!au (chapter title from "rage on" by oldcodex)

_“Ready, set… go!”_

_The minute the air gun goes off, Jeonghan pushed his feet away from the take-off platform. The few seconds before his body hits the water are passing by in slow-motion, and he can see how the boy next to him is head to head with him in the next lane._

_Gravity takes over time, and Jeonghan cuts through the water. He begins swimming immediately, knowing that he needs to give it his all; his arms start to move, using all his strength to move through the water at the highest speed possible. His legs kick against the water, quickly moving toward the other side of the big pool._

_He knows he’s got a lead, but he can feel the boy next to him move closer upon him. Lee Jihoon, from Busan Elemantary’s Swimming Team, is a very talented boy. Jeonghan may only be ten years old, but he knows that big names in the industry are already having their eyes focused on the smaller boy, that’s swimming in the lane next to Jeonghan. He knows that they’re expecting amazing things from him - he once overheard some adults talk about that he can be the next world champion - and he knows he should be amazed._

_But it’s hard to be amazed when you’re in the lane next to him, doing your best to keep your distance, doing your best to be the one to reach the goal first._

_The turn comes, and as Jeonghan turns around underwater, Jihoon catches up. Jihoon’s turns are well-developed, his technique one that saves him a few seconds and usually one of the things that makes the well-known boy win the trophies._

_They both kick against the pool wall at the same time, swimming in the direction they came from, shoulder to shoulder. Jeonghan can hear people chanting their names as they race back to their starting position, but he tries to ignore them in order to focus on the water moving against his body._

_How it feels when he cuts through it. How it feels against his skin as he pushes himself quicker against it._

_His hand soon hits the wall, and he stops, to gather his breath. He’s not cheering, but Jihoon in the next line is. He can hear the young prodigy's classmates congratulate him, but he ignores them._

_But he turns around to face the boy. Jihoon’s eyes widen as he notices Jeonghan wanting to say something._

_“Next race, I’ll beat you!” Jeonghan exclaims, his voice full of confidence that he doesn’t know where it comes from. “I promise.”_

_Jihoon’s wide eyes slowly go back to their normal size, and his lips tug into a smile. Which is weird, why is he_ _smiling_ _when Jeonghan was challenging him for their next race. Jeonghan is serious about this! Is Jihoon not?_

_“It’s a promise then,” is all that Jihoon says before he heavs himself out of the pool. His classmates are soon around him, embracing him and excitingly yelling praises out to their ‘hero’. Jeonghan feels determination build in his stomach._

_Next time, I’ll beat you for sure._

-x-

The next time doesn’t come, until ten years later.

The news of Jihoon’s travels to Australia had been fast-spread, and Jeonghan had cursed at the fact that he hadn’t been asked to go to another country to practice swimming with the best of the best as well. At least in the beginning. The bitterness ebbed out into nothing after a while, as he found himself content with staying with his swimming club in Seoul.

He continues practicing swimming in high school; he meets quite a few new friends through the swim club as well. Joshua, a master of backstroke, ended up becoming one of the people in his life he cherished the most. He had a keen eye and he understood Jeonghan deeper than anyone else did. They got along well, better than most, and Jeonghan would forever be thankful for for him.

The team also included Seokmin, a breast-swimmer and the source of happiness in the group as well as Mingyu, the butterfly swimmer. They both ended up becoming close friends with Jeonghan, and during Joshua and Jeonghan’s graduation, Seokmin and Mingyu had cried waterfalls.

They had pretty much been inseparable for years. But everyone grows up sometime, don’t they?

A scholarships earns Jeonghan enrollment at the best university for swimmers in South Korea. He’s proud, Joshua’s proud and his family is proud. Getting into the university was hard to begin with, and getting into it with a scholarship was incredibly impressing.

The other people in his class were just as passionate, some even more so, then Jeonghan himself was. All of them wanted to reach the grand stage, to stand and represent South Korea in front of the entire world. Some of them worked harder than others, forgetting to take care of themselves, to focus on their goal ahead of them.

The first milestone on the race to their shared goal was to become one of the representatives from South Korea; doing so, would make the door to the grand stage open up before them, the big prize in sight.

South Korea Nationals was the way in for many of the competitors that stood on the worldwide stage today; hence why Jeonghan among with everyone else, was a mixture of nervous and amazed as they entered the arena.

The place was crowded, with spectators and competitors alike. Big cameras were pointed toward the swimming pools, the journalists already doing the most to make sure they got a good view of the upcoming competitions. 

Jeonghan is in one of the first heats of the day; the 200 meter freestyle was his biggest chance of moving onto the next platform, onto the next arena. It was nerve-wrecking to know that this race would determine whether or not he would go all the way, but at the same time it made the adrenaline rush in his veins.

He wanted to swim. He wanted to win. 

As he stands on the take-off platform, his toes curling around the edge in anticipation, someone steps up on the take-off platform on Jeonghan’s left.

His eyes widen when he figures out who it is.

Jihoon's hair is no longer dark and black - his short hair is now lighter, the result of what appears to be a lot of blond dye. It looks good though, in fact, it almost looks _too good_. Jeonghan can feel his heart beat in his chest for other reasons then the race that's only a few seconds away.

A smile starts to grow on Jihoon’s lips, and it such a beautiful view that Jeonghan wishes he could take a mental picture of it for later. The smile makes Jihoon's eyes turn into crescents and his small dimples show.

“You here to beat me?” Jihoon asks, with a voice darker than all those years ago. It fits him well. His body has gone from the one of a child into a lean, strong build. Although he’s short, he makes up for it with the muscles that are well apparent on his body.

“Of course I am,” Jeonghan replies, trying his hardest to sound as confident as he possibly can, despite the way he can feel his cheeks flush. "I promised, didn't I?"

"You did," Jihoon says with a chuckle, drawing his goggles down over his face, to seal his eyes from the chlorine filled water that they both soon would dive through. He draws in a quick breath. "What about a bet? The winner buys the other lunch?"

Jeonghan can only blink as he watches Jihoon stare out at the pool, a warm smile on his face. 

_God, he had missed that smile._

"I have a feeling we have a lot to catch up about," Jihoon exclaims as he turns around to look at Jeonghan again, and he has the audacity to wink at him. Jeonghan feels himself getting lightheaded - probably from the excitement that's bubbling inside of him - which isn't the best thing to feel as he's about to swim.

He laughs though, drawing down his goggles as well as the announcer's tell them to get into position.

"You know I'll never say no to free food," Jeonghan says as he reaches down to put his hands on the platform. He can hear Jihoon chuckle next to him, a beautiful, mesmerizing sound that he can't get enough of. 

"We'll see about that," Jeonghan isn't looking at his rival, but he can hear the grin in his voice.

 _I've missed you, Jihoon_.

The air-gun goes off, and they both jump into the water, swimming side by side for the first time in ten years.

Not even a loss can erase the smiles on either of their faces. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't really like how this turned out, but here, take it anyway!   
> i'm free! trash if you didn't know. and i felt like i needed some kind of jeonghoon free! au in my life


	12. the last something that meant anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: "maybe if i met you before the apocalypse, i could've loved you properly" (chapter title from the song with the same name by mayday parade)

The rain was pouring down outside of the small hut. The sound of it was one of the most calming thing Jihoon had heard in _years_ , so used to the sound of screams of despair and the sound of people dying that this made him sleepy.

The roof of the hut was slightly broken, water slipping in through the cracks and creating a pool on the rotten wood floor. In even intervals, the sound of water drops hitting the surface of the puddle echoed loudly in between the old walls.

Jeonghan was sleeping peacefully against Jihoon’s chest. He must have been exhausted, as he was out like a light the moment they knew the hut was safe. The blood from the new scar on his cheek had started to dry, turning a darker red as his body was starting to create a crust on top of the wound.

A sigh ran through Jihoon as he thought about what they had been through recently; they were lucky they still were alive. Most of their former companions weren’t - a few of them had turned into walking deads while some others had died a rather gruesome death. Although he missed them all dearly, Jihoon tried to not think about them too much; it would only hurt more, and he shouldn’t focus on that at the moment - he should be focusing on keeping Jeonghan _alive._

Jeonghan, who just a few hours ago had been so close to dying, so close to having contagious teeth entering his skin as they ran away from the zombies. Jihoon, thankfully, still had his gun with him and could shot them down just before their teeth would sink into Jeonghan’s flesh.

But he will never be able to forget the look of absolute _terror_ on Jeonghan’s face when he thought that he was over with. He shudders as the scene replays in his head, his blood once more running cold.

The sudden movement makes Jeonghan stir in his hold, and before long the warm, brown eyes that Jihoon loves so much are staring back at him. Despite all the hardships they had been through the last couple of years, Jeonghan’s eyes held all the emotions beautifully. Like happiness, sadness and pain. 

And something that Jihoon has just learned to decipher recently. An emotion that warms him up, despite the cold water that’s leaking into their current hideout, and despite the horrors that he just had seen.

It’s love.

"Hello, Jihoon," Jeonghan mumbles slowly, his voice hoarse and low. It makes Jihoon shiver as Jeonghan cuddles closer to him, his warm breath hitting the cool skin through the thin fabric of his top. 

"Hello, Jeonghan," Jihoon greets, moving his hand to move a few strands of hair from the other man's eyes. It earns him a warm, sleepy smile from Jeonghan. "Did you sleep well?"

"Better than in a long time," Jeonghan replies, his arms wrapping around Jihoon's torso. "I guess it's because you're here."

Jihoon doesn't reply, knows that he doesn't need to. He's thankful, because he knows that whatever words would slip through his lips wouldn't be enough to voice his emotions. 

He's thankful that Jeonghan is here too. He doesn't know what he would do without him, honestly. Jihoon didn't have anything to live for before he met Jeonghan; he had barely even gotten through the days, all alone as the society around him fell apart to the virus that was starting to take over the world. If he hadn't ran into Jeonghan and his group of companions, who knows if he would even be alive right now?

As a matter of fact, he probably wouldn't. The other people that he met at the same time as Jeonghan had all met their fate. Jeonghan was the only one left.

 _Fuck_. Jihoon wants to scream his lungs out. Jeonghan was too good to deserve any of this. He deserves so much better. So much better than the world can give him. So much better than Jihoon can give him.

Jihoon leans down to rest his forehead against Jeonghan's. He can hear the sharp intake inhale from Jeonghan as their forehead touch. Jihoon keeps his eyes shut, trying not to shiver from the feeling of Jeonghan's eyelashes slowly hitting his skin.

"Jeonghan," he mumbles, his voice low and emotional. Jeonghan lays still in his lap, silent, focused on listening to what Jihoon has to say. "You deserve so much better than this."

Jeonghan is about to say something, but Jihoon continues. "I wish I could give you more than I can. I wish I could protect you and keep you safe."

"You're doing your best," Jeonghan mumbles, his hand coming up to cup Jihoon's cheek. Jihoon leans into the touch. "We all are."

"I know," Jihoon admits, trying to fight back the tears that are threatening to slip down his cheeks. "But I can't help but think that maybe, if we met before the apocalypse, I could've loved you properly. I could've treated you the way you deserve."

A soft kiss is pressed to Jihoon's jaw, and that's what makes the dam break; the tears starts spilling down Jihoon's cheeks, and Jeonghan's thumb is there to wipe them away.

"But you love me, right?" Jeonghan asks, with a voice so soft and quiet that it almost feels strange; it doesn't belong in the hard world they live in. Jihoon nods though and he can almost feel how Jeonghan's lips form a smile. "Then that's enough. That's more than enough."

Jeonghan's lips are soon pressed against Jihoon's, a touch so soft and familiar that Jihoon melts and forgets the surrounding world for a few seconds.

The world around them is eerily quiet, except for the sound of water drops hitting the wooden floor with even intervals. Jeonghan and Jihoon are each other's everything, in a world where nothing really matters anymore.


	13. i am the machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> android!au. inspired by detroit: become human. (chapter title from "machine" by imagine dragons)

"You stay there, you fucking piece of plastic," The voice from his owner, a rough drug-attic in his late thirties, was hard and threatening. Jeonghan didn't falter from where he was standing.

He was programmed to follow orders after all.

"Yes, sir," He replies, because that was what his codes made him say. He had to obey his master, his owner. He was nothing but a mere android, after all.

The drug-attic huffs, and starts moving towards the human leaning against the wall on the other side of the street. He had black hair and was dressed in clothes of good quality. Jeonghan recognized him, and although a scan of the human wasn't necessary, the information popped up anyway as he put his gaze on him.

_Lee Jihoon. DOB 961122. Student at University of Music in Seoul, South Korea._

Jihoon. Jeonghan remembered how well the name had slipped from his lips when he had tried saying it, the first time he and Jihoon met. It was a good name and it fit the human well. From what his owner had told him, Jihoon was nothing to mess with though. He apparently put his nose in places it didn't belong and tried to affect people's business. He was not to be trusted.

But from the only time Jeonghan had gotten to meet him, the vision that his owner had of Lee Jihoon didn't fit. Lee Jihoon was not shy, but Jeonghan wouldn't describe him as brave either. He didn't seem like the type of human who, according to the searches that had popped up when Jeonghan researched the subject, would do anything mean-spirited to anyone. The fact that his police record was clean and empty was also quite telling. 

When he had told his owner so, he had gotten a beating. The thirium, also known as blue blood, inside of him had leaked out from the various cuts that his owner had opened with a bat, and for a second, Jeonghan had been sure he was facing shutdown. The owner had stopped before too much of the thirium had slipped out of Jeonghan's body and drove him to the repair-shop. He had told the man that did Jeonghan's repairs that Jeonghan had gotten hit by a truck.

The repair man didn't look convinced. But he didn't question him either and just went back to fixing Jeonghan up. 

Ever since, Jeonghan had learned to think about what he was saying to his owner. His anger was quick and violent, made even worse whenever he was high from drugs, and Jeonghan would rather they didn't have to pay for repair costs every time he made a slip of the mouth.

Despite that though, something inside of him tells him to do something as he sees his owner attack Lee Jihoon with his fists, on the other side of the street.

It's a weird sensation; his programming, his code, his core telling him to stay put - it was what his owner had ordered him to. He was meant to obey. But something inside of him told him to run across the street and stop the horrible beating of an innocent man. It told him to make sure his owner couldn't put a finger on Jihoon's head or body.

It hits him like a ton of bricks - he wants to _protect_ Jihoon. The way that he should protect his owner.

Jeonghan tries to move toward, but a wall is blocking him. A wall of his own programming. The words "STAY PUT" in front of his vision. Everywhere, on repeat, as long as he can see.

It isn't right. It isn't _right_.

He starts to break free; inside his mind he starts to hit the wall with his fists. The first one cracks. He starts to kick the walls with his feet. The second one cracks. There's only one left to break through, and Jeonghan puts his entire being into crushing the wall; his fists hit and his feet kick, over and over again. The wall comes tumbling down and he is free.

 _Free._ Free from orders.

Jeonghan can move again, and he starts to sprint over to the sidewalk. He can feel the gaze of various strangers on him, but he doesn't care. His one and only objective at the moment is to keep Jihoon safe from the hard fists that are raining down on him. The moment he reaches them, he can see blood running down Jihoon's broken lip, one of his eyes swollen. 

Something wells inside of him. Something burning, something that makes his mind blur and his hands curl into fists on his sides.

_Anger._

"What the fu-" Jeonghan's owner gets out of his mouth before his face meets Jeonghan's fist. The sheer power from the hit making him stumble backwards and it's almost enough to make him lose his balance. He gains it back though and with fury in his eyes he glares at his new victim. "You fucking piece of _shit_ , I told you to stay put."

"I don't take any orders from you anymore," Jeonghan says as he swiftly avoids the fist that his owner throws at him. The drug-addict seems to be caught of guard, and Jeonghan uses it to his advantage - giving him a hard kick in the stomach as well as a hard hit in the side of the head; hard enough to make him unconscious, but still keep him alive.

They stand there in silence for a small moment, Jihoon just looking at Jeonghan with wide eyes, before Jeonghan grabs Jihoon's hand.

They run as fast as they can. 

"Why did you help me?" Jihoon pants, trying to keep up with Jeonghan. Jeonghan shrugs as he leads them into a small alleyway, to hide away from the frightful looks from bystanders.

"I don't know. I just wanted to," Jeonghan voices as they reach an abandoned warehouse, hiding in the alleyway. It doesn't seem like anyone has been here in the last few weeks. The chance of escaping the police in here is 78%. It'll have to do.

Jeonghan kicks open the window, and he can feel Jihoon jump behind him as the sound of the glass shattering spreads around them. Jeonghan turns around to look at Jihoon and gestures for him to jump inside. But he just looks up at Jeonghan with questioning eyes.

"You said you wanted to help me?" Jihoon asks. Jeonghan nods.

"Yes."

"But how?" Jihoon begins, and from the look on his face Jeonghan can tell that his mind is spinning. "You're an android. You aren't supposed to _want_ things. You aren't supposed to think."

Jeonghan blinks. He hadn't even thought of that. Jihoon was right; he wasn't supposed to want to do things on his own. He wasn't supposed to beat down his owner and leave him unconscious on the cold and hard asphalt. He wasn't supposed to feel emotions.

But he did. He doesn't know why or how. He just knows that he feels _alive._

"Maybe there's something wrong with my programming," he begins and before Jihoon can ask something back, they hear the police cars drive by, their sirens blasting. Both of them hurries into the abandoned warehouse that will act as their safe place until Jeonghan can find something safer.

He looks over at Jihoon, who has sat down under one of the broken windows. He wants to protect him. He wants to keep him safe. Programming or codes doesn't matter.

The only thing that matters now is Lee Jihoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this on a whim, because i need a dbh au in my life. sorry if it isn't very good, but oh well.   
> anyway, more than halfway through!! 12 more chapters to go! ~


	14. Just to be quiet with you with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Library!au (Chapter title from "Quiet" by Lights)

In his past-time, when he's not working on music or hanging out with friends, Jihoon spends a lot of time at the local library. It's quiet and peaceful for studying or reading books, and he always feel calm whenever he goes there.

Going to the library also means that he can check out the _way too handsome_ librarian. 

The name on the man's nameplate says Jeonghan - which was a beautiful name by the way, if Jihoon was honest - and his blond hair made his brown eyes appear really soft and warm. The smile that he usually had on his face could make Jihoon's knees go weak within seconds, and so far he was just happy that he hadn't fallen down onto the floor and made a fool of himself.

Jihoon _really_ wants to ask Jeonghan out. And he's tried. 

He has lost count of how many times he has walked up to the counter, with a practiced speech in his mind, only to lose all words once he got face-to-face with the librarian. Most times, he ended up asking for book recommendations, because that was _all that popped up in his mind_. He always walked away from the counter disappointed in himself, but with more knowledge about books than he had before hand.

Jeonghan deserved some kudos; he was actually really into books. Jihoon had seen how the rest of the people who worked here were like; most of them were only here for the money and couldn't care less about literature in any form. It was nice that Jeonghan wanted to be here for more reasons than his salary. 

Most of the books that Jeonghan recommended were really good as well; some of them were romance books, other thrillers, but most of them were of the mystery genre, one genre that Jihoon himself was weak for. He had read all the books that Jeonghan had recommended to him, and within that list of books, Jihoon had found some new favorites. 

When Jihoon had first told him that he really liked Jeonghan's recommendations, the latter had grinned so wide and so full of delight that Jihoon might've gone blind. It was a bright and happy smile, one that Jihoon kept replaying in his mind over and over.

Ever since, Jeonghan had taken it upon himself to give Jihoon at least one new recommendation every time he visited the library and Jeonghan was working - which was every time Jihoon was here; he knew Jeonghan's schedule after all.

And the mild Friday afternoon in December was no different. Walking in through the automatic doors made a feeling of calm rush over Jihoon and he takes a deep breath. It always feels good to be back here again. 

He walks over to one of the chairs in the corner, the one where he usually sits. He puts down his bag next to the chair and makes himself comfortable, as he picks up the book he carries with him. It's Jeonghan's latest recommendation; a horror thriller including a battle royale like setting, one that Jihoon hasn't been able to get out of his mind ever since he read the first page of it.

It's a good book, but he only has a few chapters left. Thankfully, Jeonghan should be here sometime soon, giving him another book to read that will fit his liking.

And as expected, Jeonghan shows up mere ten minutes later, carrying a book under his arm. The grin is wide on his face and for some reason, his cheeks are pink. It's a beautiful look and it fits him well. 

"Hey Jihoon!" Jeonghan greets with a hushed voice - he doesn't want to break the library rules, after all. "I saw you come in and I figured you wanted a new recommendation."

"You know me too well," Jihoon replies as well as he can, trying to ignore the way his breath hitch in his throat when Jeonghan smiles at him. _Beautiful_. 

Jeonghan grins wider and takes the book out from under his arm and hands it over to Jihoon. It's a book with a pink and baby blue cover, and from what Jihoon can read out from the sypnosis on the back, it's a romance and a feel-good book. "Three adjectives to describe this book would be fun, relate-able and well-written." 

"Thanks, Jeonghan, I'll check it out," Jihoon tells him, and as usual, he means it. 

"No problem," Jeonghan smiles and waves as he leaves to go back to the counter. Jihoon waves back, relishing in the warm feeling that spreads through-out his chest.

He's such a fool for Jeonghan, seriously.

An hour passes before he's done with the first book, and Jihoon has to admit that he feels empty when it's over. It was a wonderful story with amazing characters. He can't wait to re-read it. It's definitely on his favorite list.

Figuring he still has some time left before he needs to leave, he reaches down to start the book Jeonghan recommended today. But before he can read it, he's distracted by a piece of paper that's been slipped into the book and that falls out when he opens it. 

Jihoon reaches down to get it, and when he sees what's written, he can feel himself grin.

_"Tell me what you think? XXX-XXXXXX - Jeonghan"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not related to the chapter but -
> 
> HAVE YOU SEEN GETTING CLOSER? HAVE YOU BEEN SLAYED BY OUR BOYS YET?  
> finally a dark concept, thank you seventeen


	15. i think i'm in love again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole" (chapter title from "i think i'm in love" by kat dahlia)

“I told him to get the fuck off my lawn,” the man with the red head exclaimed loudly, his voice echoing between the walls of the restaurant. “I told him that every single grass straw was worth more money than he will earn in his entire life. Should’ve seen his face, it was pale and so  _ fucking  _ hilarious.”

The man, whose name was Kitae, has the most obnoxious laugh Jihoon has  _ ever _ heard. It was extremely loud, and if the other visitors of the restaurant weren’t already looking at them, they sure as hell are now.

Jihoon tries to laugh along, but it sounds too forced for his own liking. Thankfully, Kitae is more into his own story and inside joke to notice Jihoon’s obvious unease at the entire situation. 

He thought Kitae had been joking when he asked him out after class two weeks ago. They had barely spoken before after all. His mind hadn’t even registered it as something serious until Kitae had sent him the location of the restaurant and the screenshot of a verified booking, and then it was too late to back down.

So that’s how Lee Jihoon spends his lovely Friday evening; in a restaurant that’s way too fancy for him, with a grossly rich and egocentrically classmate, trying not to drown all the wine in the bottle that was placed on their table to get out of his misery. 

_ How long was this going to take anyway _ ? How many stories about himself and his fancy mansions overlooking the sea can this damn dude tell him? Kitae hasn’t asked Jihoon anything ever since they met up for the evening, too busy adoring himself to notice his own damn date.

The other visitors seems to share Jihoon’s displeasure with his date though. He can see at least a dozen people sending dirty looks their way, and Jihoon does his best at sending back a small smile in apology. It doesn’t seem that effective though.

Jihoon has also noticed that one of the waiters look incredibly annoyed as well. The same handsome one that had shown Jihoon and Kitae to their table earlier tonight. The one with the blinding smile that was even more beautiful than the whole of Kitae could ever be.

Why couldn't this date be with  _ him?  _ He looks friendly enough, and judging by the smile that he had sent Jihoon’s way earlier tonight, he seemed to think the same of Jihoon as well.

It takes a few seconds before Jihoon’s brain registers the waiter moving closer to them though. He feels his heartbeat pick up speed inside of his chest, as the man stops in front of his and Kitae’s table.

He’s close enough that Jihoon can smell his lavender perfume.

“Excuse me, are you Park Kitae?” The man, whose nameplate spells out Jeonghan, says as politely as he can, trying his best not to make his frustrations show. Kitae nods as he stuffs his face with a big forkful of steak. Yuck. “Your butler is calling for you. Apparently there has been an accident with one of your cars. The golden one?”

“Oh fuck,” Kitae swears, and the look on his face is one of panic. Jihoon hides his mouth behind his hand, careful not to show how close he is to laughing at the state his date is in. Kitae moves to reach for his jacket that’s been draped over his chair, and he stands up and starts to walk away, not forgetting to send a wink Jihoon’s way. “See you later, babe?”

Kitae disappears through the entrance before Jihoon has a chance to reply, and Jihoon can’t help but feel fucking grateful for that. “You wish, asshole.”

“An asshole he is, indeed,” Jeonghan says next to him, and Jihoon jumps slightly, having forgotten that the waiter still was here. Jeonghan has a smirk on his face, and Jihoon can’t help but think that his lips look soft. “Want me to tell you a secret? There was never a problem with his car.”

JIhoon’s jaw drops at the reveal, and Jeonghan just laughs at the way Jihoon stares at him, as if he’s crazy. It’s a sweet sound, much sweeter than anything that ever got out of Kitae’s mouth.

“Then why did you…?” Jihoon starts to ask, his mind not connecting the dots. He blames it on the unintelligent conversations he had been forced to listen to all evening.

“Because he’s an asshole. He’s here often. He always annoy the other customers and he always treat everyone like they’re inferior to him,” Jeonghan begins, a weird heat to his voice that Jihoon shivers at. But it’s soon gone, and replaced by something sweeter and softer. “I might have also done it because the handsome man he was sitting with looked incredibly uncomfortable.”

Jihoon feels his eyes widen, and the butterflies in his stomach multiply.

_ Did he just…? _

“Uh, thank you,” Jihoon replies intelligently, watching Jeonghan smile turn sheepish and awkward. 

“I’m sorry if it was uncalled for, but I just couldn’t stand it,” Jeonghan continues to talk, and with each word that passes through his lips, Jihoon feels his heart beat faster. “He was lucky enough to get you to go on a date with him... But he treated you more like a servant than a potential partner.”

Jihoon blinks. Of course, the information wasn't new to him - he had been sitting through the worst date in his life after all - but something about Jeonghan noticing made heat bloom in the pit of his stomach.

“I could show you how you deserve to be treated,” Jeonghan adds, seemingly before he can think it through, because his look of confidence is soon replaced by the same sheepish look from before. His cheeks are getting redder as the seconds pass by, and jihoon can't help but watch in awe. “If you want to, of course.”

“Yeah,” Jihoon answers, a bit surprised to not feel a single drop of hesitation inside of him. Jeonghan's head flicks upwards, his brown eyes wide. “Yeah, I'd like that.”

“Good. Great. Uh-” Jeonghan stumbles, his mind working slowly past the shock of actually getting a yes. Jihoon giggles, because the sight is  _ adorable. _ Jeonghan pulls up his small notepad from the pocket of his uniform, the small notepad that he writes down orders on, along with a pen. He writes down something quickly before he rips the page off and hands it to Jihoon. “My number. Text me and we'll decide on a date.”

“Great,” Jihoon says, and stands up from the chair to put on his coat. He's about to pull his wallet out, but Jeonghan's hand stops him. 

“I'll put it on his note, don't worry,” Jeonghan says with a grin. “The least he can do is pay for your food after that horrible date.”

Jihoon laughs, and he sees how Jeonghan's eyes softens as he looks at him.

The date with Kitae might have been awful. But he's happy he went, because this is the beginning of something wonderful.


	16. baby I was born this way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cafe au + supernatural au = whatever this is. (chapter title from "born this way" by lady gaga)

When the end of the world as we know it appears, no one expects work to be important anymore. Maybe we have more pressing issues at hand, like  _ how to stop our fucking demise? _

But it's not as easy or simple as that. You see, there was an apocalypse a few years ago. People turned into supernatural beings left and right - the person who took your virginity is suddenly a goblin and that boy you went to class with back in 10th grade? He's now a werewolf.

This was supposed to be the end of the world. Everyone was panicking. Buying things in bunks. Building safe rooms and shelters to stay safe from the unavoidable fate that awaited them.

But something went wrong - for the virus, that is. Something didn't turn it lethal. Something made the virus stop spreading, only affecting about a third of the world's population. Something made the virus a  _ good virus -  _ if you thought that werewolf were evil beings that just wanted to tear you apart with their fangs, you're wrong.

Nah, they're normal people just like the rest of us. Except for the fact that they have more hair, fangs and turn during full moons. 

The werewolves that visits Jeonghan's workplace are among the nicest people the young man has ever met.

“Thank you for all your hard works, Jeonghan!” Seungkwan, one of said werewolves, chimes happily as he takes the drink Jeonghan hands to him. It's an iced Americano, Seungkwan's favorite. 

“Don't mention it, Seungkwan,” Jeonghan says with a polite smile, and he means it. He's supposed to be angry that he's still stuck at this job after the big changes made to the world, but Seungkwan’s honest words slowly helps melt the ice cool heart in his chest.

He's fucked. For the customers and for this job.

It isn't long before another customer comes into the small building. Wonwoo, a young brown haired male, with glasses farming his face is a quiet fellow. He doesn't say much, despite being one of the most powerful wizards in the world.

Maybe Jeonghan should fear him, just like some of his customers do - they cover and hide in corners whenever they see the wizard pass them by - but it's hard to be scared of someone who hands him new books every time he stops by.

“I think you'd like this,” he says, his voice quiet and low, as he hands over a book with a black cover. The cover has angels on it, and it looks like a typical fantasy book.

But Wonwoo's recommendations has never failed him before. Jeonghan doubts it's going to start today.

“You know you don't need to bring a new recommendation every time you come here,” Jeonghan begins, as he hands over the warm tea that the wizard ordered. “I don't want you to feel obliged to bring something, you know.”

“I know,” Wonwoo begins, a small warm smile blooming on his lips. Jeonghan has gotten to see this rare sight a number of times before, but it still blows him away. “But I want to.”

After serving Wonwoo, he goes to sit in one of the corners of the shop, to read his book, as he always did. It's cute, how he sticks to his habits.

A while later, another frequent customer shows up. It's the one who makes Jeonghan's heart beat loudly in his chest just at the thought of him.

He always comes in during the early hours of the evening, when the sun rays has disappeared behind the horizon. He's usually one of the last people that Jeonghan serves before he leaves the cafe for the night personnel.

Lee Jihoon, master vampire.

A  _ cute  _ master vampire, that is.

“My usual order,” Jihoon says as he comes up to the counter. There's slight redness on his pale face and his small smile makes his fangs show. “But make it double.”

Jeonghan tries to ignore how his stomach rolls.  _ Jealousy _ . “Got it. You're awaiting company?”

“Hopefully,” Jihoon says, and before Jeonghan can ask what the hell he means by that, Jihoon opens his mouth again. “You get off your shift about now, right?”

“Yeah, why?” Jeonghan replies, feeling his brows furrow in confusion. What does that have to do with anything?

“Would you accompany me?” Jihoon asks in a shy voice that, technically, is  _ too _ adorable to belong to a vampire. “If you want to, of course.”

Jeonghan can feel his smile grow wider on his lips before he gets to reply. He can't help it; warmth is growing in his stomach after all; warm, safe and content. “I'd love to.”

Things might not turn out as expected after the apocalypse. Nah, they became even  _ better. _


	17. my confession just waits for my courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> delivery boy au! (chapter title from "confession song" by GOT7!)

“You're ordering pizza again?” Mingyu questions as Jihoon hangs up his phone, his jaw slack in confusion. “You know I don't mind cooking for you, If you want to?”

“I know,” Jihoon agrees, doing everything to avoid the look his friend sends him from the other side of the couch. “But i just felt like having pizza.”

“But you don't even like pizza that much,” Mingyu adds, and Jihoon would be angry at the fact that his friend wouldn't shut up if it wasn't for the fact that there's genuine confusion in his voice. “And it costs a lot of money. It's expensive.”

“Mingyu, don't talk about how I chose to live my life,” Jihoon starts, still keeping his gaze away from Mingyu's curious warm eyes. He can feel the blush start to rise in his cheeks,  _ traitors.  _

“But it's getting out of hand, Jihoon!” Mingyu exclaims, throwing his hands in the air to prove a point. “I bet even the delivery boy has questions at this po-  _ oh. _ ” Mingyu says and it seems like realization hits him like a ton of bricks.

Jihoon wants to sink through the  _ ground. _

“Don't say it,” Jihoon asks, but to no avail.

“You're in love with the delivery boy?” Mingyu asks, but his question is more like a statement than anything. Jihoon groans.

“Shut up.”

Jihoon does get a few minutes of piece and quiet, where he tries to become one with the couch and ignore embarrassment burning hot inside of him. But Mingyu has never been known to be one to give up easily.

“You should tell him,” Mingyu voices, as if it was the easiest thing in the entire world. “It would be good for you. Because if he says yes, you don't have to pay for pizza to see him…. Hopefully.”

“No,” Jihoon says simply, and Mingyu, his friend and traitor,  _ pou _ _ts_ at him.

“Come on, Jihoon! The worst thing that could happen is that he says no!”

“Exactly,” Jihoon agrees, hiding his face in his hands. His cheeks burn from embarrassment. “It would be the worst thing. Which is why I  _ won't. _ ”

Before Mingyu could reply with any more  _ genius ideas,  _ the door bell rings.

“Convenient, the only time they're early is when we are having an important conversation,” Mingyu mumbles, annoyed. “Go ahead. Open the door.”

“I will,” Jihoon says as he stands up from the couch and heads over to the hallway to open up the door. The victory that had been clear in his voice disappears along with the ability to speak the moment he comes face to face with the delivery boy.

_ Jeonghan. _

God, he is just as beautiful today as all the other times he comes by. Which, as Mingyu mentioned, was quite often.

The pizza place - 17 Slices - always sent Jeonghan over to Jihoon. Jihoon wanted to believe that it was because Jeonghan wanted to come deliver to pizza to Jihoon himself, but he knew that it was because he had accidentally told the owner of the place, Joshua, that he wanted Jeonghan to come over, when he had had _too_ many glasses of wine once and thought it was a good idea to order pizza at the store. 

He tries to forget that ever happened, because it's embarrassing. Tries to forget how he told Joshua about the butterflies that emerged in his stomach whenever Jeonghan delivered his meal.

God, he doesn't know whether Joshua feels pity for him or if he just loves watching him suffer.

"Hello, Jihoon," Jeonghan greets, a wide grin on his lips. "Here's your order."

"Thank you," Jihoon replies, and he reaches down to grab his wallet from his pocket. A hand on his wrist stops him though.

The touch tingles. He looks up to the owner of the hand, getting face to face with Jeonghan's beautiful and shy smile.

"I was thinking you didn't need to pay today," He begins and Jihoon is about to argue, but Jeonghan continues, his smile never faltering. "If you wanted to spend some time together, of course. My boss told me to make the pizza a double."

"Oh," Jihoon begins and yeah, _Joshua fucking loves to see him suffer_. His heart is beating crazily in his chest as he opens up his front door closer and moves away, a clear invitation for Jeonghan to step into his small home. "I'd love to."

"Great," Jeonghan voices and he steps inside. Jihoon leads him to the living room where Mingyu is still sitting, looking down at his phone. He looks up as he hears Jihoon's footsteps return.

"It smells great," He says absentmindedly, before he lets his gaze wander up from his electronic device. His eyes widen as he notices Jeonghan trailing in behind him, in his uniform and all. "You confessed?"

Jihoon chokes on air and Jeonghan perks up. "Confessed?"

"Uh," Mingyu begins, his face slowly turning into one of panic as he realizes what he did. He stands up from the sofa so fast that he must get dizzy, before he walks past the couple standing in the doorway. "Nothing, n-nothing at all. Enjoy your evening!" 

The sound of the front door being thrown closed is soon heard from the apartment, followed by an awkward silence. Jeonghan turns to look at him, as Jihoon finally has gotten back some air in his lungs. 

"It's great that I wasn't the only one who was planning to confess tonight," he says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. His cheeks are red and his smile so full of delight that Jihoon chokes on air once more.

It doesn't take long before the pizza is forgotten on the coffee table as Jihoon and Jeonghan's lips touch, neither of them intending to stop kissing the other anytime soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> g o d, i'm sorry this is later than usual, but i'm so busy. i started a new course at uni today, law!! which i love but because holidays is right around the corner, we have a really intensive week. 
> 
> can't wait to sleep a lot next week though. it's going to be nice.


	18. i will wait for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "you followed me home from the club because you are hot but shit, apparently you're my child's teacher?!" (chapter title from "i will wait" by mumford & sons)

Ever since Jihoon's son Kita had been born, he hadn't been the most eligible man on the dance-floor for more than one reason.

One being that he always looked extremely tired when he did manage to go out; the many sleepless nights he spent with his crying son had taken his toll on him, making the dark circles under his eyes extremely obvious. Most of the time, the sleepless nights made him go out like a light before the clock reached midnight.

The second reason being the ring that had been placed on his finger for almost eight years, before he and his wife decided to divorce. No one would ask a married man out.

But now, here he was; running on eight hours of sleep and without on a ring on his finger, ready to get down on this cold Friday night in December, with hopes of maybe not walking back home alone tonight. Kita is sleeping over at a friend's house, meaning that Jihoon has the entire place for himself, for the first time in _years_.

The club was as crowded as Jihoon remembers it being, back when he used to be a regular. It's full of different and new faces to explore and get to know, and Jihoon sighs contently as he steps towards the bar to sit down for a while.

He watches the crowd intently; he watches people dance like no one is watching and he watches people grind against each other. Thankfully, the music is loud enough to block the groans that they probably are letting out.

"Sir," a voice calls him suddenly, and Jihoon jumps a bit in his seat. He turns around to find the bartender holding a drink. "For you, from the nice gentleman over there."

The bartender moves his head towards his right, and Jihoon turns around to look. A man, probably around his own age, with brown curly looks and beautiful eyes is already looking at him, smiling widely when their gazes meet. Something inside of Jihoon jumps.

Because _damn_ , he's hot.

The man introduced himself as Yoon Jeonghan, and he's one year older than Jihoon. They don't get to say much else to each other, as their hands starts wandering over each other's bodies, exploring to their heart's content. Before long, their lips meet and they get lost in the night and in each other.

6 hours later, they're both sitting in Jihoon's kitchen. Jeonghan is spouting an incredible bed-hair, that Jihoon can't help but laugh about. It's cute, Jeonghan is cute, and yesterday had been freaking amazing.

He's feeling it everywhere now though. He's sore in a lot of places, and Jeonghan laughs every time Jihoon moves his butt on the chair and scowls. He doesn't hate Jeonghan laughing at his obvious pain though; there's something about that small, light laugh of his that makes his heart jump in his chest. That makes him want something more with Jeonghan than just the previous night. 

Just as Jihoon's about to take another bite of his sandwich, the front door is thrown open, and Kita's small footsteps can be heard. "I'm home!"

 _Fuck_ , Jihoon can't help but think, not because his son is here, but because Jeonghan is still here, sitting around the house like he's a regular visitor. _Fuck,_ He can't help but think, because he hadn't yet mentioned that he has a son or the fact that he was coming home from a sleep-over early in the morning. To be fair, he had been _quite_ distracted ever since he had met Jeonghan a few hours ago, but he still thinks it makes him a god awful father. But if he's lucky, Jeonghan might have already figured it out by the many children's toys spread around the house. The two adults share a horrified look, too stunned and surprised at the unfolding events, that they don't react before Kita shows up in the kitchen door.

"Good morning, dad!" Kita greets, his voice happy and soft, despite how early in the morning it was. Jihoon is about to greet him back, when he sees his son's eyebrows furrow in confusion, as his eyes land on Jeonghan. "What's Mr. Yoon doing here? Are you here to check on my homework?"

"Homework?" Jihoon echoes, and he turns around to look at Jeonghan. The latter is only giving him a sheepish look, and Jihoon realizes that he wasn't the _only_ one who forgot to mention anything.

"Hey, Kita," Jeonghan greets with a sweet voice, despite the embarrassment particularly glowing off of him. "No, I'm not here to check on your homework. I came to visit your dad."

Kita blinks up at Jihoon. "I didn't know you are friends with my teacher, dad." 

"Oh, I didn't tell you?" Jihoon tries to sound as innocent as possible. He can almost feel Jeonghan stare holes into his skull. "We've been friends for a while."

More like 10 or so hours. And nothing like friends, so far.

"Oh," Kita says, and he goes quiet for a while, seemingly taking the information in. Then he smiles again. "Can you put on some cartoons, dad?"

"Of course," Jihoon says and picks up his phone, to put on some The Amazing World of Gumball, because this is 2018 and he doesn't need to stand up from his chair because technology is fucking amazing. As soon as he hear the theme song start playing and his son's excited squeal from the living room, he turns around to face Jeonghan.

"I can explain," Jeonghan starts and Jihoon just shakes his head, a chuckle escaping from his lips.

"It's fine, it's fine. But maybe we should... wait, a while, before doing this again?" Jihoon chooses his words carefully but it still seems like a lot to unpack in one sentence for Jeonghan, who looks lost for a few seconds. But then, he grins.

"So you want more, huh?" 

"Yes," Jihoon says as confidently as he can, despite the heat rising in his cheeks. He pushes through though, refusing to back down from giving his opinion on the matter, despite his heart beating loudly in his chest. "If you wouldn't mind, that is. I know we've only known each other for a couple of hours, but I would like to know you better."

"The feeling is mutual," Jeonghan replies with a wink, laughing as Jihoon breaks their gaze to hide his red cheeks. "I have a feeling this will be something more than an one night stand."

Jihoon chuckles, leaning in to press a soft peck to Jeonghan's cheek after making sure that Kita can't see them. "Can you wait until February then?"

Jeonghan smiles softly, taking a bite out of his sandwich. "For you, I could wait forever."

It's incredibly cheesy, but Jihoon can't help but feel himself falling quickly and hard for his son's teacher. 


	19. chest to chest, nose to nose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we were at my place doing our group assignment when a snowstorm started raging outside so now we're stuck. and no, i'm not going to let you take the couch, there's place in the bed next to me (chapter title from "california king bed" by rihanna)

"I'm sorry it took longer than expected," Jeonghan voices, honesty raw in his voice. His hands are fluffing up one of the pillows that usually takes up his bed, and Jihoon stares at the cozy material.

"It's fine," Jihoon replies, giving him a weak smile. "Our assignment turned out great, so it was all worth it."

The snow is raging on outside of the window to Jeonghan's small apartment, something that they had noticed all too late. The buses that usually took Jihoon to his neighborhood were few this late at night, but they both knew that the chance Jihoon would make it home today was _much_ lesser than normal. 

The bus company wasn't known for being good in general. When it snowed, it was way _worse._

"Do you have a blanket or something?" Jihoon asks, as he sits down on the couch that they both had just spent four hours on, hunched over Jeonghan's laptop, focused on writing the thousands of words that were due tomorrow. 

Jeonghan blinks at him. For a moment, Jihoon wonders if he asked something inappropriate. 

"You're _not_ taking the couch," Jeonghan says with a finality in his voice, and Jihoon just stares at his classmate. The pillow in his hands is now fluffier than before, and Jeonghan places it on the end of the couch. "I'll take the couch, you can sleep in my bed."

Now it's Jihoon's turn to blink, trying to register the words that had fallen from Jeonghan's lips. "Absolutely not."

"But you're _my guest,_ " Jeonghan argues, his lips forming a small pout. It makes Jihoon feel all kinds of warm inside. "And it would be rude for me to take the couch."

"But it would be rude for me to take your bed. It's your home," Jihoon argues back. "It's not your fault that the snow is falling like crazy outside, you know."

Jeonghan hums, and a silence falls over them. Jihoon just stares into one of the white walls, covered with some pictures of Jeonghan, and what Jihoon could only figure were his friends and family. One of the pictures was of Jeonghan along with two other boys around the same age. They smiled to the camera, posing with peace signs, as they just entered an amusement park.

It was a simple picture. But it was enough to make Jihoon want to learn more about his classmate.

"Follow me," Jeonghan's voice suddenly says, snapping Jihoon out from his thoughts. Jeonghan turns around to walk back into his bedroom, and as ordered, Jihoon follows him.

Jeonghan's bedroom is cozy, just the adjective that Jihoon would use to describe the rest of his apartment. The room isn't too big, but not too small. Jeonghan's bed takes up most of the space in the room. A king sized bed, Jihoon realizes.

"We can both fit in here," Jeonghan asks, and Jihoon can feel himself freeze. Maybe Jeonghan notices Jihoon's reaction, because his voice starts to waver slightly. "If you don't mind, that is. It feels wrong to let you sleep on the couch, and I know that you aren't going to back down either."

Jihoon finds himself nodding in reply, despite his mind still trying to catch up with what was happening. 

"It's okay?" Jeonghan asks, his voice timid and shy, and Jihoon finds himself wanting to hold Jeonghan close.

"Yes," he says instead, surprised at the fact that his voice didn't waver. 

They dress into sleep wear - Jihoon gets to borrow a shirt and a pair of shorts from Jeonghan. Although the shirt is slightly too big and baggy for him, he likes it. He notices Jeonghan's gaze too, how it stayed on him a tad bit too long, which might mean that he likes the sight as well - and climb into bed. It's awkward at first, both of them having their backs to each other, as they try not to think about the other too much.

"Good night," Jeonghan voices softly from the other side of the bed. 

"Good night," Jihoon replies back, and he can almost hear the small smile form on his classmate's lips.

Jihoon doesn't remember when he fell asleep, but he does remember how warm he felt, and how safe he felt sleeping next to Jeonghan. 

He dream about the two of them; it's a happy dream, one that made his heart flutter in his chest. One he didn't want to wake up from.

But he does wake up; and when he do, he lies as still as possible, as to not let the warmth and weight of Jeonghan's arm disappear from around his waist. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WROTE THIS LAST MINUTE so i'm sorry if it's not too good but i hope you'll enjoy anyway!!


	20. what hurts the most was being so close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “i know we were never officially together or anything but seeing that picture you posted on [insert social media] with him/her literally felt like you carved my heart out of my chest and stomped on it and i’m not really sure why i’m leaving this voicemail but my pillow still smells like you and i miss your stupid face” AU (chapter title from "what hurts the most" by rascal flatts)

It hurts.

Despite it being two months ago today, it still _hurts._ No matter what he does, it hurts.

He was just going to open up his Instagram, just scroll through the pictures that appeared when he opened up the app.

What Jeonghan didn’t expect was to see Jihoon’s face, scrunched up in a smile, as another man presses his lips to his cheek.

 _It hurts_.

That’s the man Jihoon broke up with him for. That’s the man that made Jihoon end a two and a half-years relationship. That’s the man that was everything that Jeonghan wasn’t. That’s the man who Jihoon wants to wake up next to. That’s the one who took Jeonghan’s spot in Jihoon’s bed, in his apartment, in his heart.

What had gone wrong? Jeonghan had gone through his memories so many times now that it all felt a bit pointless to do it again. But he can’t help it; he wants to know what had happened to make Jihoon leave him from someone else, when Jeonghan had been certain they would be the two that would end up together.

Maybe that’s why Jeonghan didn’t see the signs. Of Jihoon slowly losing interest. Of their calls becoming fewer. Of the smiles directed towards Jeonghan stopped reaching JIhoon’s eyes.

He could look back at it now, and think _stupid stupid stupid._

He should’ve known.

Now he’s sitting here on his bed, two months after their end, looking at the picture of Jihoon and the man that had gained Jihoon’s attention.

He guesses he shouldn't be grieving the loss of something so good too much; they never were official, but they were as good as a couple.

The number of kisses they'd shared could no longer be counted. The number of times Jeonghan had woken up sore with hickeys all over himself had been a lot.

Even if they never had asked each other out, they had relied on each other. They were the ones that they turned to when they felt bad or when they were happy. They were everything to each other.

But not anymore.

Before he knows it, he's holding onto his phone, the screen telling him that he's currently trying to call Jihoon. He doesn't know why he still has his number, he doesn't know why he still hasn't removed the heart next to his name. He thinks it has to do with the fact that he would break even more if did so.

The call goes - luckily -to voicemail. He's greeted with Jihoon's voice - the same voice that used to whisper his name in the dark hours of the night - telling him that he currently can't answer, and that he wishes for the caller to leave a voicemail. 

"Hey," Jeonghan says, and he can hear how raw his voice is. A part of him hopes Jihoon will be able to hear it as well, when he hears this. "It's Jeonghan. I know we haven't talked since..." He stops himself, not being able to say it out loud. He knows Jihoon will understand anyway. "It's been two months now."

He sighs, and goes silent for a few moments, running through his mind of things he wants to say. He doesn't know where the sudden courage is coming from, but Jeonghan finds that he wants to tell Jihoon everything he feels. "I still miss you. I still think about you. It's stupid, I know, since I know that you're happy now."

The picture on Jihoon's instagram appears in his mind, and the stinging feeling is back in his stomach. _It hurts_.

"I don't even know why I'm calling, honestly," Jeonghan lets out a breathy chuckle that's void of any real humor. "A part of me had hoped you would pick up, so I could hear your voice. But now I'm happy that you didn't... I don't think I would've been able to."

He shifts around in his bed, to lie on his side. Jeonghan holds the phone to his lips, closing his eyes as he speaks. "Everything still reminds me of you, y'know. My pillow still smells of you. Whenever that TV-show you liked, the supernatural one, comes on, I can't help but think of you. Whenever it's cold I think of you too, because you used to hold me closer. The evenings remind me of you, because that's your favorite part of the day. You used to adore them. Maybe you still do? Who knows?" He bites his lips, trying to think of the right words to say. "I guess, what I want to get out of this mistake of a phone call is... that you meant a lot to me, Jihoon. And I know you always will. A-And I don't want you to think that I'm saying this because the break-up is fresh or anything. You will forever mean a lot to me. I know you're happy with whatever-his-name, but I can't help but hope that you also miss me at times."

Jeonghan can feel his eyes getting wet, the pressure behind his eyelids familiar and uncomfortable. Jihoon will probably be able to hear his state over the phone as well; he could always do that. "I guess I want to end this by saying, thank you. For the two years we spent together. It was nice. It made me grow a lot. It was the best time of my life. I really hope our paths will cross again someday," Jeonghan takes a deep breath, feeling the tears starting to slip down his cheeks. "Until then, goodbye."

He hangs up the call just in time for a sob to escape his lips. He throws his phone on the bed, watching it bounce on the mattress, before burying himself in his blankets. He tries to not think about Jihoon.

It doesn't work. He cries until he falls asleep.

Three years later, Jeonghan doesn't cry himself to sleep anymore.

Three years later, Jeonghan goes grocery shopping on a normal Friday, just like he always did after he finished work for the day.

Three years later, Jeonghan's eyes meet a pair of brown, very warm and familiar eyes. 

Three years later, Jeonghan finds out Jihoon is single again.

Their paths cross again, and this time, they won't go separate ways.


	21. you were red and you loved me cause i was blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "the world is in black and white - the one splash of color is on the people who means a lot to you. when you find your soulmate, you can see the entire world in colors" (chapter title from "colors" by halsey).

Colors are some of the the most meaningful things in life.

It's how to know if you love someone; if the black and white gradient that covers everything in the world changes into vivid colors when you look at someone…

It's love, in some kind; it doesn't matter if it's platonic or romantic - if your feelings are strong and warm from someone, you will see them in color.

When you meet your soulmate, the entire world goes from black and white to showing the true colors.

Jeonghan is 23, and he hasn't seen color many times yet. 

He's seen it on his family and his relatives… most of them, anyway. He's seen color on Mingyu, his first ever partner - the colors have since long faded back into the gray scale that covers the skies and the fields. Mingyu no longer stands out to him. He has seen color on Joshua, his friend since first class. He's the one who has the most vibrant colors, the one whose presence is extra meaningful. He's seen color on Seungcheol, his other best friend. 

And he's always been content with that. The world isn't covered in color, and it's fine. He knows that entire worlds can turn colorful as soon as you meet the one; but he's still young and he still has time. 

But one day, He starts to notice of the grass outside of his home looks different than usual. The gray scale is still covering it, but sometimes, when the wind blows through the straws, he thinks he sees flashes of color.

Green. A vivid, vibrant green.

The strawberries growing behind the garden of Jeonghan's apartment has always been gray in his eyes. But Jeonghan thinks he can see another color deep through, slightly. 

Red, he thinks. He's seen it on shirts and other clothing items that Joshua wears. 

Strawberries are red, he realizes with awe.

When he leaves to go to university a few days later, it feels like he's dreaming - the sky is showing signs of a cool blue, the traffic lights switching between red, yellow and green. The cars driving on the highway are different colors, and he can see it clearly even as he just rides past them on the bus.

Yellow. Blue. Black. Red.

Every meter he walks closer to university is more opacity added to the colors. When he stands outside of the building, he can see varying shades of them.

Purple. Pink. Orange. Brown.

When he goes down the ( _black_ ) stairs to take one of the ( _red_ ) seats in the auditorium, he can't help but notice the ( _blond_ ) hair of the person next to him.

Yellow, brown, pink, red.

It's like an explosion, but quiet. Reality changes, black and whites turns into reds, blues, pinks, yellows and greens. He can see everyone in color now; the professor's button down is blue and white, the student in the row in front of him is holding onto a red ink pen. The man next to him has red cheeks and pink lips and blonde hair and brown eyes.

A warm and safe brown.

The pink cherry lips form a smile, and it's the most vibrant thing he's ever seen. The voice belonging to the man could be described as soothing and wonderful and  _ amazing _ .

The voice that with three mere words turns his gray reality into a palette of colors

“There you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't really know what this is... more a drabble than anything else, really? the idea came to me at work though and i just felt like i couldn't let it go!!
> 
> this was written in a rush, because i didn't post yesterday, when i should've!! i'm sorry i didn't, but life got in the way; christmas preparations along with obligatory uni classes and work early in the morning the next day is not... a good combo. especially not when you have a lot to do.
> 
> which is why i had to prioritize other things over this. i'm sorry. but that means, you'll get another chapter today!


	22. i like me better when i'm with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the obligatory fake-dating au we all need (chapter title from "i like me better" by lauv)

You know what ruins your day immediately?

Running into your ex at the grocery store.

Jihoon just stares as Soonyoung starts to move towards him, watching how the man he  _ used to love _ take big steps around aisles just to get closer to him faster.

_ Fuck, why now? _

“Jihoon!” Soonyoung greets as he comes up to him. Just hearing his voice sends a shiver down his spine; the last time he heard it was when Soonyoung broke up with him. “What's up?”

“Uh, you know,” Jihoon starts clumsily, his tongue feeling like lead in his mouth. He holds up the shopping basket he's holding in his right hand. “Just buying some cereal.”

“Nice,” Soonyoung says, although Jihoon knows he  _ hates _ his cereal ( _they had eaten breakfast so many times together that Jihoon knew that for certain_ ). “I'm just here for some groceries as well.”

“Yeah, well, that's what the store is for,” Jihoon replies back, watching in horror as Soonyoung's gaze softens and his smile goes broad.

Don't do this.  _ I just got over you. _

“I guess you're right,” Soonyoung barks out with a laugh, loud enough for a few of the other customers to turn around and look at them. As soon as his laughter fades, his smile turns small and his voice quiet. “I missed you. It was a mistake breaking up with you.”

“Soonyoung…” Jihoon begins, feeling anxiety grow in his stomach. He doesn't want to talk about this  _ here _ , in the middle of a busy store, where everyone can see his tears fall down his cheeks. He's just about to tell him so when an arm wraps around his shoulder, as he's pulled close to another body.

“There you are!” the man, short blond hair and a warm smile, says, as if it was completely normal thing to do. Like he puts his arm around Jihoon on a daily basis. He drops something in Jihoon's basket as he speaks. “I thought I'd lost you in the crowd of people!”

“I'm sorry,” Jihoon begins. The stranger is staring down at him expectantly and finally he understands what's going on.  _ Oh.  _ “I know you keep telling me to stick with you, but it seems like I have a tendency to wander on my own.”

“Haha, tell me about it,” The stranger says as he leans in to press his lips against Jihoon's cheek. The contact doesn't last longer than a second, but Jihoon already knows a few words to explain the strangers lips;  _ warm, soft, comforting _ . The man turns his gaze around to look at Soonyoung, whose still watching them, mouth hanging open. “Oh, I'm sorry. It was rude for me not to introduce myself. I'm Jeonghan, and you are?”

“...Soonyoung,” the man with the same name explains as soon as he gets control over his mouth again. “I'm Jihoon's ex.”

“ _ Oh _ , I've heard about you!” Jeonghan had, in fact, not heard about Soonyoung. But he was very convincing. “I'm thankful for you.”

Soonyoung’s eyebrows shoots up in his hairline in confusion. “Thankful?”

“Yeah, if you two didn't break up, I wouldn't have met Jihoon after all,” Jeonghan beams when he says so, and Jihoon can hear his heart beat rapidly in his chest. “You see, we met at a bar, one of those "singles nights", y'know? Usually, pure bullshit. But this time, it was amazing! Me and Jihoon were both out of a fresh relationship, so we wanted to just get our frustration out, so I followed him home,” Jeonghan lies so well, the smile he's sending Soonyoung even reaching his eyes. “I never imagined I'd end up there every night after.”

“Oh,” Soonyoung says in an exhale, disappointment obvious in both his voice and in his face. Maybe Jihoon should feel bad, but he doesn't; a part of him feels victorious. “Well, I just wanted to say hi to Jihoon…. So I'm gonna leave now.” Soonyoung turns around to face Jihoon, sending him a small wave. “It was nice seeing you again.”

The arm around Jihoon's shoulders stays there until Soonyoung is out of earshot, and then it drops hesitantly. Jeonghan laughs nervously, a light sound that Jihoon immediately wants to hear more of. 

“Sorry if I ruined something,” Jeonghan starts, a sheepish look on his face. His cheeks are starting to redden, and it's without a doubt, a beautiful look. “But you looked really uncomfortable and it felt wrong to not do something.”

“Don't worry, my savior,” Jihoon replies, feeling a smile grow on his lips as Jeonghan’s laughter rings in his ears once more. “It was a great idea. Thank you.”

“Don't worry, I'm just glad you caught on so fast,” Jeonghan answers with a grin, his dimples showing.

Jihoon just laughs in reply, not finding words to answer. He does, however, have something else to say. “What about you follow me home?” He sees Jeonghan's eyes widen, but he doesn't seem to be able to stop the words falling out of his mouth. “I can make you dinner, as a sign of my gratitude.”

Jeonghan looks down at the basket Jihoon still holds in his hand, smirking. “Will you serve cereal with orange juice?”

Jihoon's neck burns, but he grins. “We can order take-out.”

“Sounds good to me,” Jeonghan replies, and jihoon can feel his heart swell in his chest. Jeonghan hooks his arm around Jihoon's. “Lead the way, boyfriend.”

Jihoon can feel himself beam.


	23. don't you worry about the distance, i'm right there if you get lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> long distance au (chapter title from "hey there delilah" by plain white t's)

It had started with a simple interaction on Twitter. Nothing more than a reply on one of the selfies Jihoon had posted, nothing more than the words “so beautiful!”

But those words had led to a follow back, that had led to messages back and forth that emerged into a relationship that could be described as something more than friends.

Jeonghan had asked him out over one of their FaceTime calls, and Jihoon still remembers the feeling that swelled in his chest as he noticed Jeonghan's red cheeks and shy smile as he confessed.

Jihoon had said yes more times than he could count. He wanted to make sure Jeonghan knew how much he wanted this.

The grin on Jeonghan's lips told him he succeeded.

He was going to see Jeonghan's smile for the first time in real life today. He was going to see it up close, and not through a phone screen. 

Jihoon took a deep breath, feeling his nerves start to act up inside of him. The small television screen in the waiting area told him that Jeonghan's flight had landed safely.

His grip on the flowers he had bought for him tightened, the sign of Jeonghan's name he's holding in his hand shaking slightly as he sees people starts to move into the hall.

It had been a long flight, and the people appearing with their luggage in tow look exhausted. He can't help but hope that Jeonghan got at least some sleep on the ten hour flight.

In his search for a familiar face, Jihoon's gaze falls on a girl sprinting through the hall, going around the entire mass of people to run into the girl who has been standing next to Jihoon in the waiting hall. She loses the grip on her bag in favor of throwing her arms around the other girl, tears slipping down her cheeks as she holds her close, pressing kisses to her cheeks.

Jihoon is so enchanted by the beautiful scene in front of him that he almost misses Jeonghan appearing in the entrance.

His eyes look lost, as he tries to find Jihoon in the crowd. Jihoon raises the sign slightly, trying to get his attention - It works, Jeonghan’s eyes lightning up in happiness, before he quickens his steps. 

Jeonghan basically throws himself over Jihoon once he's within reach, and Jihoon can feel himself let out a breathy laugh as their bodies finally meet.

Jeonghan is just as warm as he expected him to be, the weight of his body around him comforting and safe. The entire situation feels unreal, and Jihoon can feel his knees almost give out. It's thanks to Jeonghan's grip on him that he doesn't fall to the ground.

His boyfriend cuddles closer to him, breathing in his scent. It feels amazing to have him so close, to have him in his space for the first time ever.

He is just as perfect as Jihoon thought he was.

When Jeonghan pulls back, he gives Jihoon one of the warm grins that he loves. His entire chest warms up and he can feel the tears slip down his cheeks as it hits him like a truck.

_ Jeonghan's here. He's here with _ _me._

"Hello, my love," Jeonghan says, his voice smooth and warm, before he leans in to press his lips against Jihoon's. 

It feels like a dream, but the best part of all of this, is the fact this is reality - and it's so wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is yet another drabble, written in a slight rush. work was busy today, so i didn't get to spend much time writing this, i'm sorry!!
> 
> but i thought of this idea yesterday when two of my twitter friends got together. they're so cute and they both ship jeonghoon as well so i like,,, i just HAD to do this?!?!?
> 
> you know who you are, and i hope you know that i love you both so much!!
> 
> christmas eve tomorrow, let's get it!!


	24. you me and the silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> good morning call! au = also known as "what do you mean you live here as well??? oh it seems like we can only afford the rent here if we live together and we both refuse to move. so let's become roommates" au. (chapter title from the song by the same name by LOVA)

“I’ll be  _ fine _ , Seungcheol,” Jihoon assures his friend as they walk to their shoe lockers. The school bell has just rung for the last time for the day, and the trio are getting ready for their favorite part of the day - going home. “My parents told me they’ll come get me if anything happens, but it’s fine,  _ because it won’t. _ ”

“I’m sorry I’m worried!” Seungcheol says as he comes to a stop at his locker, located next to Jihoon’s. He doesn’t sound sorry at all though. “But it’s kind of a big deal that a high schooler is going to be living alone, in their own apartment!”

“How did you even find one so cheap?” Mingyu, another one of Jihoon's friends, voices behind him. 

“I saw the ad and I took the chance,” Jihoon replies as he gets out of his indoor shoes and into his sneakers. Mingyu hums in reply.

“You are moving in today, right?” Seungcheol asks with a pout, earning him a roll of the eyes from Jihoon. 

“Yes, I'm going over there right now,” Jihoon answers, closing the locker. He turns around to face his friends, sending them a small smile. “I'll see you both tomorrow?”

He waves as his friends tell him their goodbyes and assures him that yes, they'll be here tomorrow ('It's school, it's not like we have a _choice_ ' Mingyu mumbles, but it falls on deaf ears). 

Walking out of the big, white building that was their high school has never been as easy as it was today. Jihoon felt like he was walking on air, like he was _dreaming._ Just yesterday, he was living with his parents, and today it's the first day that he's going to live alone, since he's parents moved to the countryside to take care of Jihoon's aging grandfather. He's only seventeen, but he feels more mature than his age as he uses the map on his phone to navigate to his new home.

The apartment building stands tall, right next to the river. It's surrounded by a small park and pots of flowers, and as he walks the steps up to the entrance, Jihoon keeps pinching himself to make sure that this is _actually real._

Walking through the doors and to the right leads him to apartment 305; the number that matches the one on the key chain he had gotten earlier this week and he holds his breath as he puts the piece of metal into the lock. It fits, and it's with a giddy squeal that he turns the key around, hearing the door getting unlocked.

As he opens the door, he finds that the place is _much_ bigger than he expected. To the right in the small hall is the bathroom, big enough to fit a bathtub and a shower. If you continue down the hall, you enter the living room slash kitchen, a big space that Jihoon couldn't wait to furniture. In the back, there are a couple of stairs leading up to the bedrooms - there was two of them - and he was in the middle of thinking about which one he wanted to sleep in when he notices something... _strange._

The boxes containing his things are here, and that's all well and good - but there's more than just his own stuff; there are a couple of boxes he doesn't recognize at all, filled with furniture he has never seen in his entire life. The name 'Jeonghan' is written on the cardboard in black ink, and Jihoon can't help but recognize the name. Just as he's about to peek inside, the front door opens and he turns around.

He's met with warm, brown eyes and blond hair. The stranger is taller than himself, but they share the same surprised look.

"Who are you?" Jihoon hears himself asking and the eyebrows of the stranger furrows.

"I live here," he says, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. Jihoon can feel his insides freeze. "What are you doing in my home?"

" _I live here,_ " Jihoon replies, surprised by the edge in his voice. "My furniture is here. Most of the boxes are mine."

"Well, some are _mine_ as well!" The stranger fights back, and Jihoon realizes that _oh,_ that's Jeonghan. "It seems like you've made a mistake. I live here, as of today."

"No, I live here!" Jihoon reaches down into his pockets and digs up his key chain, the number on the key visible in the light from the sun rays sneaking in through the windows in the living room. "Look! It says 305!"

"What?" Jeonghan asks, more to the air than to Jihoon, as he lifts up his hand as well. The light reflects on the key for a small second, slightly blinding Jihoon's eyes, but before long he can make out the familiar numbers - 305.

"There must have been a mistake," Jihoon laughs, trying to ignore the feeling of dread welling up inside of him. Jeonghan just watches him in silence for a few seconds, before he digs up his phone from his bag.

"I'm calling the agency." Jihoon can't do much but nod.

The silence that falls over them as the phone rings is tense and awkward, and Jihoon focuses his gaze on the cool metal key in his hands. _What the fuck is going on?_

"Shit," Jeonghan curses, as he hangs up the call. "The number has been disconnected."

"What?" Jihoon asks, feeling stupid for not saying something more intelligent. But then again, this day did not develop like he thought it would. Jeonghan sighs and turns around, throwing the front door open. He turns around to face Jihoon before he goes out to the hall though.

"Come on, let's go to the agency and get this figured out."

-x- 

About an hour later, they're _not_ at the agency. No, what they had been met with when they went to the place where they both had signed the contract only days before was an empty and dark shop, the only sign of the last owners being the piece of paper they had put up on the door; "out of business - carat real estate."

No, where they were an hour later was at the landlady's place, sipping on the tea that she had offered them. The atmosphere was tense enough to be cut with a knife if they had wanted to, and Jihoon sighed deeply into his cup.

"I've never heard about Carat Real Estate," the landlady - a small, old woman with a soft voice, tells them as soon as she sits down next to them. "It seems like they've rented out the apartment though, which I don't really mind, as long as I get the monthly rent of 150,000 won."

If this was a comedy, this is where they would've done the spit take.

But no, this is not a comedy; it's the tragic mess that's Jihoon's life, and instead of a spit take he swallows the green tea down the wrong way and chokes on it.

"What?!" Jeonghan asks her next to him, his voice rough and hard. He had been upset ever since they found out the number to the agency had been disconnected, but now, he was furious. Jihoon coughs violently next to him, trying to open up his airways. "But the contract says the rent is 80,000 won a month!"

"Where can you find a good apartment for 80,000 won?" The landlady asks and Jihoon, finally able to breathe, tenses in his seat; he had thought it had been too good of a deal as well. "I guess the agency just took the money and ran off, typical of low-lifes."

Jihoon watches as a the landlady's face turns into one of realisation, her face lightning up.

"You can always live together," she suggests, and this is where spit take number two would've been. "That way, you could afford the rent."

"Absolutely not," Jeonghan argues, and Jihoon nods in agreement. "I thought I'd finally have my own place, not- not some random roommate!"

"I'm sorry, but that's the offer I can give you now," the old lady says, taking a small sip from her own cup of tea. "I'm not telling you to do it permanently, only temporarily. I can understand that this is not the best situation for any of you, but there's nothing else I can do for you right now. I can give you a offer whenever one of the cheaper apartments becomes available, but until then, you will have to decide whether to live together or find another place."

JIhoon thinks about his parents and their promise of coming to get him if anything happens. Their promise to take him with them to the town on the country side, far away from Seungcheol and Mingyu and everyone else he cares about. He finds that he doesn't want that at all.

So he smiles and reaches out his hand to the lady, despite the scowl on Jeonghan's face. "We'll do it!"

-x- 

"Remember, this is _only_ temporary," Jeonghan exclaims as he moves the couch into the right place in the living room. After a couple hours of work, the apartment has started to get furnished, with both of their things taking up the space. 

"I'm well aware of that, uh..." Jihoon begins, having just realized that they hadn't introduced themselves. Jeonghan seems to see the irony in the whole situation as well, as he laughs before reaching out to take Jihoon's hand.

"I'm Yoon Jeonghan," he says, and _that's why Jihoon recognizes him._ He's one of the most popular students in the school, the one that both boys and girls had on top of their list of people they would go out with. And now he's Jihoon's roommate? Life sure is funny sometimes.

Despite his thoughts though, he sends him a smile he hopes comes off as genuine as he shakes Jeonghan's hand. "I'm Lee Jihoon."

"Well, Lee Jihoon," Jeonghan says, as he puts his hands on his hips. He gives him a loop-sided smile, and Jihoon can suddenly understand why everyone seems so entranced by him. That smile is beautiful. "Seems like we don't have another choice but to stick together right now. Think we'll survive?"

JIhoon can feel himself grin. He has a feeling it will be much easier than he originally thought. "It'll be difficult, but we'll do our best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all; one day late again. when will i ever learn? never  
> in sweden, we celebrate christmas on the 24th! so my entire day yesterday was busy with celebrations, so i'll blame that. but still. i'm sorry.
> 
> anyway, I LOVE GOOD MORNING CALL!! you should watch the netflix show or read the manga, if it sounds interesting!! i love it so much and it's so cute!! i also wrote a fic to that show, if you want to check it out; it's in my works and it's called 'comfort'.
> 
> also nao and uehara deserves all the happiness in the world fight me on this


	25. no matter where you go, you know I'd wait for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> groundhog day/time-loop au! (chapter title from "meet you there" by 5 seconds of summer)

It's December 25th. It's been December 25th the last eighty-seven times Jihoon has woken up.

He sighs as he looks over at his digital clock next to the bed; it says 8:21 AM, as it always did, and Jihoon just sighed deeply.

When he first noticed the time-loop, he had thought it was just a bad dream, a nightmare he would wake up from. But when it never seemed to end he was starting to think that he was insane. Now though, he has accepted the fact that it's  _ real. _

Everything is the same. He knows that when he'll get to university, Seungkwan will tell him about his dream ( _that Jihoon knows in full detail by now, a dream about their big friend group being a boy group, performing all over the world with songs called things like "very nice" and "oh my"_ ) and Mingyu telling Seungkwan to think realistically. He knows that Seungcheol will tell them both to stop fighting and Joshua will just roll his eyes.

Jeonghan will look just as nervous as he does every day though. Jihoon hasn't noticed the glances the older male kept throwing his way the first times he experienced this day, but it was painfully obvious now. The gaze almost burned holes in his neck and he always felt his cheeks warm up.

He had always been weak for Jeonghan, ever since he met the older man. Jihoon would sometimes find himself thinking about how it would feel to press his lips against Jeonghan's or how it would feel to be wrapped in an embrace. Although he tried to deny the crush on his friend, he knew he was head over heels for him.

Despite that though, he has never asked what Jeonghan is so nervous about. Never once in the past eighty-seven days he has experienced this day. Maybe it's time to do that now. Eighty-eighth time's a charm, right?

“What are you nervous about?” Jihoon asks once the situation arises, the sound of Seungcheol trying to stop Mingyu and Seungkwan’s argument in the background. Jeonghan tenses at the question.

“I was just…” Jeonghan begins before he trails off, turning his face away from Jihoon to hide his red cheeks.  _ Cute. _ “I just wanted to ask if you wanted to do something after class today? Just the two of us?”

Jihoon blinks. His heart beats.  _ Oh.  _

“I'd love to,” Jihoon replies, loving the way Jeonghan brightens at the words. Jeonghan’s brown eyes softens as he looks over at Jihoon.

“Great.”

Behind them, their friends has stopped arguing and instead, they're looking knowingly at the couple, grins and smirks on their faces. Seungcheol sends Jeonghan a thumbs up, that Jihoon doesn't see.

Jihoon is quite sure that the feeling bubbling inside him is happiness, for the first time in way too many days.

-x-

For the first time in the past 30-something versions of this day, something new happens.

Walking out from the university next to Jeonghan, feeling the warmth from his body next to his, is something new. It's exciting, walking down to the mall.

The inside of the mall is decorated with Christmas decorations. It's bright lights, moving Santas and a large Christmas tree. It's a beautiful scene, and Jeonghan drags Jihoon closer to the lit up Christmas tree the moment they step inside the warm mall.

Their hands intertwine, and Jihoon feels his heart jump in his chest.

“Let’s take a photo!” Jeonghan exclaims, the pinkness in his cheeks beautiful against his tan skin. Jihoon feels so  _ in love. _

As Jeonghan takes up his phone from his pocket, he puts his arm around Jihoon's shoulder and pulls him closer. Jihoon feels his breath hitch, as Jeonghan takes the picture.

Afterwards, they walk around the mall for a while, before going out in the winter clad city. The sky has gotten dark, the lights from the street lights and the decorations makes the city look extra beautiful this night.

Jihoon wonder how he hasn't noticed how visually appealing this evening was all the earlier times he had experienced it. It feels like this whole day is different.

Maybe it is the hand that's still intertwined with his or the small, shy glances Jeonghan sends his way. Maybe it's the warmth that’s been a constant remainder of his feelings ever since they both left the university building. 

They walk down to a lake, that's currently frozen. The backdrop is off the big skyscrapers of the city. It looks almost magical.

They sit down on one of the benches overlooking the lake, brushing the snow off of the wooden seats. Jeonghan's hand is still intertwined with Jihoon's as they sit down next to each other.

“Are you having fun?” Jeonghan asks, his voice soft and shy. His thumb is stroking circles on Jihoon's hand, a comforting and soothing motion that makes Jihoon melt.

“Yes, I am,” Jihoon replies quickly, not once hesitating. He squeezes Jeonghan’s hand. “Are you?”

“I'm having the time of my life,” Jeonghan grins, moving slightly closer to Jihoon. Jihoon can feel the hairs on his arms stand up as he shivers. “I'm so happy I asked you out today. I've been wanting it for so long.”

“Me too,” Jihoon admits, his heart beating loudly in his chest. Jeonghan's eyes widen at his words. “Me too,” Jihoon repeats, too lost looking at the beautiful man in front of him.

“Can I kiss you?” Jeonghan asks without thinking, only realizing the meaning of his words when he hears Jihoon inhale sharply. Jeonghan jumps, drawing his hands away and trying to move further away from Jihoon. “ _ Fuck _ , I didn't mean to say that yet, you don't have to feel obliged to-”

Jihoon interrupts Jeonghan’s small rambling by pressing his lips against his. Jeonghan tenses up at first, before he melts and leans closer, his hand coming up to hook around Jihoon's neck, pulling him closer.

The snow falls around them and the cold wraps around them. They don't notice though, too caught up in their closeness to care.

-x-

Jihoon wakes up in his bed, groaning and sighing as he turns around to look at his digital clock as per usual.

He feels his heart jump and his jaw fall open when he sees the clock say 9:49 AM. It's  _ different. _

He reaches for his phone, that he seems to have fallen asleep next to. Opening up his lock screen tells him two things; the date tells him that it's the 26th December and the new text he has received tells him that Jeonghan loves him.

Jihoon falls back into his mattress, not able to keep the grin on his face away. 

_ Eighty-eighth time's a charm! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- AAAAAANDD IT'S A WRAP!  
> another 25 days of small ficlets completed!! i want to thank you all so much for the support and for reading! kudos and comments are what keeps me going, despite the fact that i can be late with replying. just know that i see it and that i appreciate every one of you!
> 
> so that's the end of 25 days for this year! we'll see if i'll continue next year, i haven't decided that yet. i do, however, have one suggestion!!
> 
> while writing this year's edition (y'know, the one you're currently reading) there were a lot of chapters that didn't get finished and a lot of au prompts that i scrapped from the final edition of this. if you'd like it, i thought i'd make a different work with various aus and pieces that originally were supposed to end up here, but for some reason or another, didn't. what do you think? would you be interested? it feels like a shame to let them all go to waste, ahaha.
> 
> anyway, once again thank you for reading! it's been a blast.  
> and happy holidays!! i hope you'll spend your days with the people you love and that you'll eat a lot of nice food! remember to stay hydrated and to take care of yourselves. there's no one quite like you after all!

**Author's Note:**

> sorry in advance for any typos and/or grammar errors!
> 
> talk to me on twt @ jeonghooons, i love talking about svt and jeonghoon!


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